Director: Nicolas Winding
Refn
Writers: Nicolas Winding
Refn, Roy Jacobsen
Starring: Mads Mikkelsen,
Alexander Morton, Maarten Stevenson, Gary McCormack, Gary Lewis, Jamie Sives,
Ewan Stewart, Rony Bridges, Robert Harrison
I’ve been doing this for
quite some time, and rarely does a movie come along that leaves me scratching
my head wondering just what do I think about this movie. “Valhalla Rising” is a
movie that does just that. I don’t know what to think of this film. I think I
like it. I’m sure many won’t.
It’s about Christian Vikings
looking for The Holy Land, Jerusalem, to fight in the Crusades. I think. And
even if that part is true, that’s not really what it’s about. It follows a
brute, referred to as One Eye, because he only has one eye. He’s a prisoner at
first, who is used as a fighter for Lords to wager on in sort of Gladiator
contests. One Eye is so good at killing. He’s always tied to a post while his opponent,
sometimes two opponents, is free to attack in any way.
One Eye eventually kills his
captors and stumbles upon a group of Christian Vikings. They set sail for the
Holy Land and get lost in a fog. When they emerge, they think they’ve arrived
at their destination. Anyone who has the slightest notion of geography knows
they haven’t. I’m not sure there’s much else to say in terms of plot. There is
a lot of killing. There is also a lot of standing around. There’s a lot of
looking at the landscape. There are a lot of the men writhing in agony over…
what? I don’t exactly know, but somehow it seems appropriate. The whole movie
is like some bad Norse testosterone trip.
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