Morbius / ** (PG-13)

 

Dr. Michael Morbius: Jared Leto

Milo: Matt Smith

Martine Bancroft: Adria Arjona

Dr. Emil Nicholas: Jared Harris

Agent Simon Stroud: Tyrese Gibson

Agent Rodriguez: Al Madrigal

Columbia Pictures and Marvel Entertainment present a film directed by Daniel Espinosa. Written by Matt Sazama & Burt Sharples. Based on the Marvel Comics character. Running time: 104 min. Rated PG-13 (for intense sequences of violence, some frightening images, and brief strong language).

Sony finally gets around to expanding its Marvel Comics based universe of characters following its long running Spider-Man franchise and the more recent Venom pair of movies. Thanks, Covid! Like Venom, Morbius concentrates on more of an anti-hero than the wholesome character of Peter Parker in the Spider suit. Morbius, in plain pop culture speak, is a vampire. Like all vampire films, Morbius is often a dank, dark exercise in straining to see what is happening in the blackness. Like most superhero movies, it is also an origin story filled with CGI creativeness and excess, and all too often sloppiness that adds to the dank, dark, difficult to see action. 

We are introduced to Dr. Michael Morbius, played by Jared Leto, as an adult in an under-explained opening sequence in which he is taken to a remote cave in Costa Rica to trap a rare species of bat. His treatment of the crew of men he’s paid to bring him here is reckless to say the least. Then we are flashed back to his childhood to discover that he was born with a rare blood disease that requires him to “get an oil change” three times a day. We also meet another boy with the same disease whom Michael befriends and renames Milo. The explanation for this renaming is thin and obviously designed to divert the audience’s attention from the true identity of Milo. Considering this would only be understood by the few movie goers that are fans of the comic book character along with the fact that Milo’s real name is used when he’s introduced, this seems like a magician trying to convince you this isn’t a trick even though the cards already fell out of his sleeve. We also meet Michael’s mentor Dr. Emil Nicholas, played by Jared Harris in a bit of casting misdirection.

Back in the present, Dr. Morbius’s partner, Martine Bancroft, discovers that Michael is illegally experimenting with the bats in developing a cure for his blood disorder. Rather than firmly questioning the morality of his actions as she first suggests, Martine is quite supportive of Michael’s experiments. She joins him on a cargo ship in international waters to administer the potential cure to him. The credits fail to respect Martine with a doctor title despite the fact that she insists upon it when challenged by men with guns. Although Martine is underwritten as a love interest, Adria Arjorna is a competent and compelling choice for the role. 

Needless to say, the cure doesn’t work quite as intended. Although it does appear to at least temporarily cure the disease, its side effects are vampirism. Most of the side effects seem beneficial to our hero–increased strength and agility, augmented echolocation hearing, and even a form of flight. It’s just that pesky need to feed on human blood that is problematic. Luckily, Morbius’s previous scientific contribution to humanity was a synthetic blood that is a milky blue color for some reason. Unfortunately, this blue blood provides diminishing returns for the good doctor. Also unfortunate for the doctor is how a shipful of dead mercenaries washed up on the city shore draws the attention of two FBI agents. Also, Milo’s desire for a cure is so strong that he ignores Mobius’s warning that the cure is also a curse. Soon people are being exsanguinated all over the city. Look it up. The writers did.

Now, if it seems I’m being hard on the movie, it isn’t all bad. Most of my issues are aesthetically based, rather than structural. Unlike what so many jokesters on the internet have suggested, Jared Leto’s presence in the leading role is anchoring rather than disruptive. He carries the weight of the role properly, even when the screenwriters insist on putting out-of-character one-liners in his mouth. The plot and design of the characters and production are also sound, providing an intriguing origin to a complicated character without over-complicating it. 

Matt Smith, as Milo, can be a bit much at times. Unfortunately, Smith seems a little more willing to give into some of the writers’ and director’s worst instincts, especially in a scene where he dances while dressing for an evening out with his newfound muscles and powers. It’s the action sequences that are the most problematic, however. The editing is too quick and the scenes are so dimly lit that their murkiness is indecipherable to human eyes. Vampires might be able to see in the dark, but I can’t.

I’d hardly call this the worst comic book adaptation I’d ever seen, but it doesn’t live up to the more nuanced standards that Marvel has built an interlocked universe out of over at Disney. I welcome some of the simplicity of storytelling here that has all but been expelled from superhero movies these days. The movie does dip its toes into the Disney formula in its final moments, however. Thanks primarily to a surprise cameo, these are the best scenes of the movie. I wonder, though, if the MCU has spoiled us on the more straightforward storytelling of classic action/fantasy movies. Morbius isn’t the best of what comic book filmmaking has become and perhaps the old ways just can’t succeed anymore. It’d be nice if they could.

Critic’s Note: Actually, the less complex style of plotting that once served all of our spectacle needs is successfully on display in the second Venom movie, Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021). In it the filmmakers embrace Tom Hardy’s unique characterization from the first movie and throw out most of the newer tricks of universe referencing and twist endings that make you reevaluate all you’ve seen. Well, if you don’t count the credit cookies, it does.

A Quiet Place / **** (PG-13)

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Paramount Pictures

Evelyn Abbott: Emily Blunt

Lee Abbott: John Krasinski

Regan Abbott: Millicent Simmonds

Marcus Abbott: Noah Jupe

Paramount Pictures presents a film directed by John Krasinski. Written by Bryan Woods & Scott Beck and John Krasinski. Running time: 90 min. Rated PG-13 (for terror and some bloody images).

Noise is something we take for granted. There’s always noise. Even in the darkest moments of night when the world at large is resting, our world is filled with noise. I can hear the hum of trucks from the interstate a quarter of a mile away at night when everything else is quiet in the house. However, nothing ever seems as quiet as it does when you are startled awake in the night by a nightmare. At that moment, silence can be stifling. And when all seems as still as it can be, with that nightmare lingering in your brain, the slightest little sound—a creak in the floor, a branch on a window, the fractional settlements of a house that occur throughout a structure’s lifespan—can bring an uncontrollable start. That moment when you suddenly think that the breaking of the silence will cost you your life, that is where the entirety of the new horror movie, A Quiet Place, exists.

Unsane / **½ (R)

Bleeker Street

Sawyer Valentini: Claire Foy

Nate Hoffman: Jay Pharoah

Violet: Juno Temple

David Strine: Joshua Leonard

Angela Valentini: Amy Irving

Bleeker Street Media and Fingerprint Releasing present a film directed by Steven Soderbergh. Written by Jonathan Bernstein & James Greer. Running time: 97 min. Rated R (for disturbing behavior, violence, language and sex references).

When reviewing a movie like Steven Soderbergh’s latest feature, Unsane, a critic is faced with a dilemma of split purposes. On the one hand, you are reviewing a thriller that depends upon the tropes of the genre and the storytellers’ abilities to surprise and create tension for the audience. On the other hand, you’re reviewing an experiment of sorts. Soderbergh’s second feature film back from his brief “retirement” is not the first feature film to be shot on an iPhone, but the success of such films—mostly in terms of box office—has yet to reach a point where any sort of verdict has been made as to an audience’s willingness to accept such a film medium as mainstream. For the most part, Soderbergh’s experiment is a success in that it doesn’t feel like an experiment in the slightest; which raises the question, why exactly was this screenplay chosen for this experiment?

The screenplay by Jonathan Bernstein and James Greer raises questions about the mental health industry in this country. These questions are important and legitimate, focusing on the very real practices of a select few voluntary admittance facilities that take advantage of their clients’ lack of knowledge about their rights and the willingness of insurance companies to cover such admittances without question for short periods of time. Unfortunately, other aspects of the screenplay bring into question the legitimacy of the mental health industry as a whole and could be seen as exploiting the realities of mental health issues for the purposes of schlock entertainment. I’m all for schlock, but there were times while watching this film that I felt uncomfortable about how little understanding the filmmakers were displaying in order to pump up the horror entertainment value of their story.

Horror Thoughts ‘15—Dracula Untold (2014) ***

PG-13, 94 min.

Director: Gary Shore

Writers: Matt Sazama, Burk Sharpless, Bram Stoker (characters)

Starring: Luke Evans, Sarah Gadon, Dominic Cooper, Art Parkinson, Charles Dance, Diarmaid Murtagh, Paul Kaye, William Houston, Noah Huntley

“I’m so sick of origin stories.” That seems to be becoming a mantra from filmgoers in this age of the comic book movie where origin stories are everything. I’ve never been much of a mind to think that way. A story is a story, origin or otherwise. What people are sick of is the same superhero origin story over and over again. How many times have we seen the origin stories of Batman, Superman and Spider-Man? Now, Dracula… that’s one we haven’t seen before.

Of course, one of my big problems with so many of today’s vampire stories is that the storytellers have forgotten what the vampire mythology is all about. All too often vampires are turned into superheroes, which is just wrong. Unfortunately, this is just that type of vampire movie. It lacks all the classic themes of the vampire mythos. Considering that those tropes seem all but forgotten today, I’m willing to give into the fact that this is going to be a vampire superhero origin story. Once you give yourself up to that fact, it’s not such a bad movie. It ain’t scary, but it’s enjoyable.

Horror Thoughts ‘15—Manhunter (1986) ****

R, 124 min. (director's cut)

Director: Michael Mann

Writers: Michael Mann, Thomas Harris (novel “Red Dragon”)

Starring: William Petersen, Denis Farina, Tom Noonan, Kim Griest, Joan Allen, Brian Cox, Stephen Lang, David Seaman, Benjamin Hendrickson

So, the best show to get canceled from television this year was “Hannibal”, which remarkably made it through three very dark and twisted seasons. Of all things Hannibal Lecter related, it is by far my favorite. But, Lecter has certainly made an impression before. In celebration of those three wonderful seasons, I decided to watch all five of the Hannibal franchise films for Horrorfest.

The police procedural aspect of most of these films generally places them outside of the horror genre in my mind, yet Hannibal Lecter is one of the greatest movie monsters ever created. So I wanted to look at them from a horror mindset. Certainly the television show is rooted solidly in horror, yet its creator, Bryan Fuller, intended to keep references to the novel storylines throughout the series. So, how much of that horror do the movie versions of these stories contain?

“Manhunter”, the first adaptation of Thomas Harris’s novel “Red Dragon” and first movie appearance of Hannibal Lector, retains the least amount of horror movie aspects of the bunch. Directed by Michael Mann in full 80’s gear, it retains the crisp “Miami Vice” feel to his imagery. Note that in this vision, the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane is depicted with entirely white walls and features. No colors of any kind. This is, of course, how Mann envisions the clinical, completely sanitized. It is 180 degrees removed from the grimy, dungeon-like depictions of the institution in “The Silence of the Lambs” and the later adaptation of the same story.

Crimson Peak / **½ (R)

Edith Cushing: Mia Wasikowska

Thomas Sharpe: Tom Hiddleston

Lucille Sharpe: Jessica Chastain

Dr. Alan McMichael: Charlie Hunnam

Carter Cushing: Jim Beaver

Universal Pictures presents a film directed by Guillermo del Toro. Written by del Toro & Matthew Robbins. Running time: 119 min. Rated R (for bloody violence, some sexual content and brief strong language).

After “Pacific Rim”, which played as a minor improvement over a “Transformers” movie, I couldn’t wait for director/writer Guillermo del Toro to return to his horror fantasy roots with “Crimson Peak”, a gothic horror romance that has del Toro reminiscing about horror traditions of the past. Del Toro has a grand palette, especially in horror environments, making “Crimson Peak” a film that plays to his strengths as a director. The beautiful images are there, in a script that feels a little stilted, making this one a disappointment on some levels, but exactly what it should be on others.

Horror Thoughts ‘15—House (1977) ***½

NR, 88 min.

Director: Nobuhiko Ôbayashi

Writers: Chiho Katsura, Chigumi Ôbayashi (original story)

Starring: Kimiko Ikegami, Miki Jinbo, Kumiko Ohba, Ai Matsubara, Mieko Satô, Eriko Tanaka, Masayo Miyako, Kiyohiko Ozaki, Saho Sasazawa, Asei Kobayashi

Have you ever seen one of those Japanese variety shows where you are wondering just what the heck is going on? Well, the 1977 cult horror film “House” comes from the same mindset. In it you will witness a floating head attack a friend, a piano eat its player, a girl who loves to clean killed by linens, a man turn into a pile of bananas, a woman taking a bath attacked by hair, an old woman who likes to hang out in the broken refrigerator, and a skeleton dancing in the background of many scenes without any explanation. But, even that list of absurdities fails to do the movie justice. It is one that must be witnessed to be believed.

Horror Thoughts ‘15—It Follows (2015) ****

R, 100 min.

Director/Writer: David Robert Mitchell

Starring: Maika Monroe, Kier Gilchrist, Lili Sepe, Olivia Luccardi, Daniel Zovatto, Jake Weary

It’s always a bit of a cheat for a critic to come to a movie after both sides have had their chance at it. As is often the case with underground hits, after an initial wave of incredible praise for the project comes an almost equal wave of disparagement against it. With the indie horror flick “It Follows”, initial reviews hailed it as the most original work of horror in the past ten years or so. It has since been reduced to “meh” is many circles. The most public of the charges against it came from director Quentin Tarantino, who praised its originality, but accused writer/director David Robert Mitchell of breaking his own mythology. Perhaps the greatest praise I can give the movie is that while I watched it, all of these opinions from others dropped from my mind and I was immersed into a narrative that I never could have foreseen.

Horror Thoughts ‘15—Horns (2013) **

R, 120 min.

Director: Alexandre Aja

Writers: Keith Bunin, Joe Hill (novel)

Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Max Minghella, Joe Anderson, Juno Temple, Kelli Garner, James Remar, Kathleen Quinlan, Heather Graham, David Morse

So, I seem to have gone for a Stephen King related start to my Horrorfest ’15. For those of you who aren’t aware Joe Hill, the author of the novel “Horns” upon which this movie is based, is the son of King. His writing is very similar to King’s. From what I’ve read of his, he might be even better than his father. I have not read “Horns”, however, so I came into this movie fresh. I’m a little shocked at how similarly this story is structured to some of his father’s work. It definitely shares some character structure with the stories of King’s “It” and “Dreamcatcher”. It also may share King’s curse of having horror maestros mishandle the material.

Horror Thoughts ‘15—Maximum Overdrive (1986) *

R, 97 min.

Director/Writer: Stephen King (also short story “Trucks”)

Starring: Emilio Esteves, Pat Hingle, Laura Harrington, Yeardley Smith, John Short, Ellen McElduff, J.C. Quinn, Christopher Murney, Holter Graham, Frankie Faison, Pat Miller, Jack Canon, Barry Bell, John Brasington, J. Don Ferguson, Leon Rippy, Bob Gooden, Giancarlo Esposito, Stephen King

It is well past time I began posting for this year’s Horrorfest, which I began over two weeks ago and already includes five titles (posts for each coming soon?). Anyway, I started this year’s Horrorfest off with a fizzle, for a change. I usually try to kick off each Horrorfest with one of the year’s better horror flicks. This year I said, “Screw that!” I literally did. I said, “Screw that. I’m going to kick this year’s festivities with a piece of crap.” And, there are few horror flicks that are as big a piece of crap as Stephen King’s directorial debut—and luckily only feature length directorial effort—“Maximum Overdrive”.

The Visit / ** (PG-13)

Becca: Olivia DeJong

Tyler: Ed Oxenbould

Nana: Deanna Dunagan

Pop Pop: Peter McRobbie

Mom: Kathryn Hahn

Universal Pictures presents a film written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan. Running time: 94 min. Rated PG-13 (for disturbing thematic material including terror, violence and some nudity, and for brief language).

Let me start by pointing out that Kathryn Hahn is an excellent actress. She’s one of those actresses that you’ve seen in a bunch of films and television shows but have never quite caught her name. She often plays the girlfriend or sister who makes quips about the main characters. She’s played a few moms, like she does here. She seems like she must’ve come from someplace like Saturday Night Live, but she didn’t. She played Lily on six seasons of “Crossing Jordan”, a role that was created specifically for her. Mostly known for comedic roles, she has never been boxed in by them and finds her way into drama quite frequently. Although, her role here is small, it’s the emotional center of the story. Watch her work in the first scene, when she’s holding all her tension in her hands while trying to brush off her emotions with her words. It’s too bad she wasn’t used as effectively throughout.

I’d also like to add—before I get to the review proper—that I am pretty much done with the “found footage” format, especially for horror movies. Found Footage refers to the notion that a fictional movie was filmed as if it were a documentary that is capturing real events. Made popular by such movies as “The Blair Witch Project” and “Paranormal Activity”, it was an interesting gimmick for a while. It has unfortunately been done to death by new filmmakers trying to make names for themselves in the horror genre. It’s nice when it’s done well, but more often than not it isn’t. Even worse, it’s lazy. It creates an easy way for writers to inject exposition into their films and allows excuses for poorly shot sequences and ineloquent dialogue. M. Night Shyamalan—who was nominated for writing and directing Oscars for his brilliant “The Sixth Sense”—should be ashamed of himself for submitting to such a tired, overused and lazy filmmaking style. Of course, it allowed him to make the movie for $5 million, which might’ve saved his floundering career with its nearly guaranteed financial success.

Jurassic World / *** (PG-13)

Owen: Chris Pratt

Claire: Bryce Dallas Howard

Gray: Ty Simpkins

Zach: Nick Robinson

Hoskins: Vincent D’Onofrio

Simon Masrani: Irrfan Khan

Lowery: Jake Johnson

Vivian: Lauren Lapkus

Barry: Omar Sy

Dr. Henry Wu: B.D. Wong

Universal Pictures presents a film directed by Colin Trevorrow. Written by Rick Jaffa & Amanda Silver and Colin Trevorrow & Derek Connelly, Based on concepts created by Michael Crichton. Running time: 124 min. Rated PG-13 (for intense sequences of science fiction violence and peril).

The whole concept behind Hollywood sequel making is counter to the notion of criticism. While a critic tries to guide and educate an audience on what will entertain and enlighten them, the purpose of a sequel is generally to make money off of fulfilling an expectation of the exact same approach to the exact same effect as the previous—or best—film in a franchise. So it is left to the critic to merely report whether the filmmakers have achieved a repeated effect or have failed. When you get a tent pole film like “Jurassic Park” that is filled with spectacle and thoughts, it becomes problematic for the studios, which inexplicably feel the need to reproduce the spectacle but rarely the insight.

Spectacle minus the insight was certainly the problem with the previous two movies in the “Jurassic” franchise. In fact, “The Lost World: Jurassic Park” and “Jurassic Park III” were so lacking in any sort of science fiction themes and insight that the latest in the series—the long-awaited reboot “Jurassic World”—totally ignores the existence of the second and third films. In doing so it returns the story to the roots of its science fiction foundation. Once again the characters are dealing with the themes of the original film about the dangers of playing God with science, the impossibility of containing nature and even some new ideas about the need of some humans to push every scientific development toward weaponization.

Poltergeist / ** (PG-13)

Eric Bowen: Sam Rockwell

Amy Bowen: Rosemarie DeWitt

Kendra Bowen: Saxon Sharbino

Griffin Bowen: Kyle Catlett

Madison Bowen: Kennedi Clements

Carrigan Burke: Jared Harris

Dr. Brooke Powell: Jane Adams

Boyd: Nicholas Braun

Sophie: Susan Heyward

20^th Century Fox and MGM present a film directed by Gil Kenan. Written by David Lindsay-Abaire. Based on the 1982 screenplay by Steven Spielberg. Running time: 93 min. Rated PG-13 (for intense frightening images, brief suggestive material, and some language).

There are some who are calling the present period in cinematic history the Golden Age of Independent Horror. It is true that there have been a good deal of innovative horror films released over the past decade. We’ve seen the rise of Spanish and Korean horror masters, like Guillermo del Toro and Joon-ho Bong. “Saw” changed the horror landscape forever. The first “Paranormal Activity” was original and genuinely frightening. And even as recently as this year we’ve seen innovative horror films like “It Follows”. Perhaps, however, horror directors are getting a little full of themselves and are forgetting the basics of filmmaking as they apply to horror.

Spring / *** (UR)

Evan: Lou Taylor Pucci

Louise: Nadia Hilker

Drafthouse Films presents a film directed by Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead. Written by Benson. Running time: 109 min. Unrated (contains sexuality including graphic nudity, disturbing images, violence, and language).

After a winter like many on the East Coast experienced this year, people were ready to believe anything could be an improvement. Over the long months of storm after accumulating storm, the walls were beginning to move in on the psyche and many were ready to move someplace warmer. But, always comes the spring—a rebirth of nature and the spirit. Nature, however, holds many mysteries, and sometimes you might wish it had stayed in hibernation. Such are the discoveries of the hero in Justin Benson’s and Aaron Moorhead’s new horror/romance “Spring”, a moody nightmare that turns the tables on the expectations of the horror genre, giving way to another genre all together.

Criterion Thoughts—3 Women (1977) ***½

PG, 124 min.

Director/Writer: Robert Altman

Starring: Sissy Spacek, Shelley Duvall, Janice Rule, Robert Fortier, Ruth Nelson, John Cromwell, Sierra Pechuer, Craig Richard Nelson

Robert Altman’s “3 Women” has been referred to as his tribute to the films of Ingmar Bergman. It appropriates Bergman’s style of connecting two characters in the intimate webs of each other in the same way as films like “Persona”. Altman’s take is distinctly American, with its California desert location and its testosterone-driven male supporting characters. This meshing of geographical styles results in a David Lynchian feel to the material, along the lines of “Mulholland Dr.” It embraces trace horror elements that can also be found in both Bergman and Lynch’s works. It is one of the more unique films from this director/auteur that is a step away from his normal fare and yet somehow still distinctly Altman-esque.

Penny Thoughts ‘15—Constantine, season 1 (2014-2015) ***

TV-14, 13 45-min. episodes

Developer: Daniel Cerone, David S. Goyer

Directors: Romeo Tirone, Neil Marshall, John Badham, Nick Gomez, T.J. Scott, Steve Shill, John F. Showalter, David Boyd, Mary Harron, Sam Hill, Thomas J. Wright

Writers: Daniel Cerone, David S. Goyer, Sneha Koorse, Brian Anthony, Christine Boylan, Jerry Siegel, Mark Verheiden, Cameron Walsh, Rockne S. O’Bannon, Carly Wray, Davita Scarlett, Jamie Delano (characters/graphic novel “Hellblazer”), Garth Ennis (characters/graphic novel “Hellblazer”), Alan Moore (characters/graphic novel “Swamp Thing”)

Starring: Matt Ryan, Harold Perrineau, Angélica Celaya, Charles Halford

Guest starring: Michael James Shaw, Mann Alfonso, Jonjo O’Neill, Jeremy Davies, Claire van der Boom, Emmett J. Scanlon, David A. Gregory, Jose Pablo Cantillo, Lucy Griffiths, Mark Margolis, James Le Gross, William Mapother

NBC very quietly entered the growing market of television series based on comic books this year with one of DC’s more obscure characters, the dark arts magician John Constantine. Although Constantine may not be as well known as many of DC’s tight-wearing superheroes, he’s long been popular with the more mature readers of the company’s Vertigo line of adult-targeted comic books. When DC revamped their entire lineup a few years ago Constantine jumped to the company’s regular line of superheroes, captaining the supernatural-based supergroup “Justice League Dark” and headlining his own title “Constantine”.

Penny Thoughts ‘15—Groundhog Day (1993) ***½

PG, 101 min.

Director: Harold Ramis

Writers: Danny Rubin, Harold Ramis

Starring: Bill Murray, Andie MacDowell, Chris Elliott, Stephen Tobolowsky, Brian Doyle-Murray, Marita Geraghty, Angela Paton

So the time has come once again for us all to have our annual existential comedy experience and relive the same day over and over until we get it right. Perhaps we could all use the unexplained peril of Bill Murray’s self-centered hero from one of the unlikeliest of cinematic comedy successes of all time. “Groundhog Day” was released in February of 1993 to a Valentine’s Day crowd most likely expecting nothing more than another romantic comedy that seemed slightly off target release date wise considering it was the wrong holiday by a couple weeks. Instead they got a comedy with a brain that really wanted to tackle the deep issues that lay at the core of its otherwise silly premise.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—Hannibal, season 2 (2014) ****

TV-14, 13 45-min. episodes

Creator: Bryan Fuller

Directors: Tim Hunter, Peter Medak, David Semel, Michael Rymer, Vincenzo Natali, David Slade

Writers: Bryan Fuller, Thomas Harris (characters from novel “Red Dragon”), Steve Lightfoot, Jeff Vlaming, Jason Grote, Scott Nimerfro, Ayanna A. Floyd, Andy Black, Kai Yu Wu, Chris Brancato

Starring: Hugh Dancy, Mad Mikkelsen, Lawrence Fishburne, Caroline Dhavernas, Hettienne Park, Scott Thompson, Aaron Abrams, Raúl Esparza

Guest starring: Gillian Anderson, Cynthia Nixon, Jonathan Tucker, Martin Donovan, Patrick Garrow, Lara Jean Chorostecki, Maria Del Mar, Shawn Doyle, Eddie Izzard, Gina Torres, Kacey Rohl, Amanda Plummer, Anna Chlumsky, Ted Ludzik, Katharine Isabelle, Jeremy Davies, Chris Diamantopoulis, Mark O’Brien, Michael Pitt, Daniel Kash

There was a point about halfway through the second season when I though this series had finally run itself off the rails. It has always skirted on the precipice of going too far off the deep dark end. I’m sure there are some who feel that it started that way. However, the writing has always been incredible on this series. It is about the best written American television show out there. So how was it possible that things could go so wrong with the writing starting with S2E9 “Siizakana”?

Penny Thoughts ‘14—The Final Member (2014) ***

R, 75 min.

Directors: Johan Bekhor, Zach Math

Featuring: Sigur∂ur Hjartarson, Tom Mitchell, Páll Arason

“The Final Member” is not a documentary for those with weak stomachs. It really doesn’t try to be gory or gratuitous, but frankly I didn’t ever want to see the body part of its subject in the way we see it here.

“The Final Member” is a documentary about the world’s only penis museum. Sigur∂ur Hjartarson founded the Icelandic Phallological Museum from his own personal collection of penises. It features an amazing variety of penises, from some of the largest phalluses in the world to some of the smallest, but until recently the one species he couldn’t seem to obtain a specimen from was a human. This movie documents his efforts to obtain one.

Turkey Thoughts ‘14—Addams Family Values (1993) ***

PG-13, 94 min.

Director: Barry Sonnenfeld

Writers: Paul Rudnick, Charles Addams (characters)

Starring: Raul Julia, Angelica Huston, Christopher Lloyd, Joan Cusack, Christina Ricci, David Krumholtz, Jimmy Workman, Carol Kane, Peter MacNicol, Christine Baranski, Kaitlyn Hooper, Kristen Hooper, Carel Struycken, Christopher Hart, Dana Ivey, Mercedes McNab, Sam McMurray, Harriet Sansom Harris, Julie Halston, Barry Sonnenfeld, Nathan Lane, Cynthia Nixon, David Hyde Pierce, Peter Graves, Tony Shalhoub

I’ve never done a Thanksgiving themed review before, so it might seem strange that I’m starting with “Addams Family Values”, which could seem off topic beyond the fact that it was a Thanksgiving eve release when it was originally released in theaters. The plot actually does touch upon Thanksgiving, however.