Voz: Mel Gibson
Mendez: Demian Bichir
Miss San Antonio: Amber Heard
Luz: Michelle Rodriguez
Desdemona: Sofía Vergara
Mr. President: Carlos Estevez
La Camaléon: Lady Gaga
El Camaléon 4: Antonio Banderas
El Camaléon 1: Walt Goggins
El Camaléon 2: Cuba Gooding, Jr.
Cereza: Vanessa Hudgens
KillJoy: Alexa Vega
Zaror: Mark Zaror
Osiris Amanapur: Tom Savini
Open Road Films presents a
film directed by Robert Rodriguez. Written by Kyle Ward. Screen story by Robert
Rodriguez & Marcel Rodriguez. Running time: 107 min. Rated R (for strong
bloody violence throughout, language and some sexual content).
In a tradition that has
become a signature of the mock-grindhouse films of Robert Rodriguez and Quentin
Tarantino, Rodriguez’s new film “Machete Kills” starts with a trailer for
another grindhouse film. The name of the film is “Machete Kills Again… In
Space”. This is confusing since I had just bought a ticket for “Machete Kills”.
Why was I seeing a trailer for a sequel to a movie that was just released? The
trailer reveals the plot of this second sequel to Rodriguez’s brilliant
exploitation spoof “Machete” in pretty clear detail. We see Machete’s exploits
in space in what appears to be a film that has lost all touch with the original
“Machete” beyond the fact that it looks like a bad 70s b-movie. What happened
to the renegade federalé who has turned into a Mexican folk hero with a
penchant for unique weapons and a taste for the blood of evil men? Lasers and
jet packs? Really?!
In their first grindhouse
effort, the double bill of Rodriguez’s “Planet Terror” and Tarantino’s “Death
Proof”, the directing duo recruited other genre directors to compile fake
trailers to accompany their features in order to perpetuate the illusion that
these were actually grindhouse films from the 70s. In fact “Machete” was born
from these fake trailers, as Rodriguez was so pleased with his trailer and fan
reaction was so positive that he decided to make his fake trailer into a real
film. My question is whether or not “Machete Kills Again… In Space” is supposed
to be a real trailer for the third movie in the franchise, or is it just
another fake ridiculous b-movie trailer? It gave me a little bit too much to
think about going into the actual “Machete” sequel “Machete Kills”. Little did
I know that the trailer for this third Machete film would be the most brilliant
bit of “Machete Kills”.
As we settle into the actual
sequel to “Machete” we discover that Machete and Sartana, the Immigrations
officer who helps Machete in the first film, have stumbled upon a weapons deal
being perpetrated by U.S. soldiers. After a satisfyingly bloody battle between
the two Federal officers and the soldiers and the Merxican drug cartel members
who bought the weapons, a fourth group enters the ring and slaughters everyone
who is left save for Machete, who is spared for an unknown reason. Despite
being spared, Machete is snatched up by the local law enforcement who have
their own version of the justice system and try to hang Machete before they get
a call from the President of the United States, played in perfect exploitation
appropriateness by Charlie Sheen, billed with his real name, Carlos Estevez. I
don’t care if you don’t like Sheen, his voice is the kind that makes bad
dialogue sound great.
Machete is recruited by the
President—in a comical scene where the President makes Machete a U.S. Citizen
instantly with a big rubber red stamp—to track down and kill a madman in Mexico
named Mendez, who is threatening to nuke the United States if the U.S.
government doesn’t cross the border and declare war on all the drug cartels. Of
course in order to find Mendez, Machete must interact with many buxom babes,
including a whorehouse full of heavily armed women and run by a man-hating
beauty played by Sofía Vergara of “Modern Family”. Machete’s mission is further
complicated when he finds Mendez, who suffers from multiple personality
syndrome, one of whom has a death wish and places a bounty out on himself for
millions of dollars. Demian Bichir, who I’ve only seen in dramatically heavy
roles, is brilliant as the off-his-rocker Mendez.
Despite the crazy nature of
the film’s plot, it never quite reaches the level of brilliance as the original
“Machete”. This might be because, outside of the opening trailer, Rodriguez
drops many of the signature styles of the 70s exploitation pictures. He doesn’t
retain the grainy and damaged nature of the film stock that added so much
atmosphere to his “Planet Terror”. He doesn’t include bad edits or soundtrack
imperfections that reference the material he originally spoofed with these
films. The acting is more straightforward than in the previous film, with much
of the tooth gnashing toned down, except for Bichir. The few really good laughs
do have to do with this type of genre referencing, like when a subtitle on the
screen tells the audience to “Put On Your 3D Glasses Now” emphatically. This is
not a 3D movie. Then the film proceeds into a sex scene that is obscured by
faux 3D film stock.
Other than a few flares,
there just isn’t much spark to this sequel. It feels like it’s running through
the motions of a spoof rather than really trying to satirize a style of filmmaking.
Machete is a big part of that problem. Machete is mostly just an observer of
the events happening around him, reacting to them rather than creating them.
Danny Trejo has that amazingly striking physique and face of a guy who’s seen
it all, but here he seems content with just seeing it. He doesn’t impose
himself the way he did in the first “Machete”. His stoicism just doesn’t feed
the spoof material. The supporting cast tries their damndest to impose without
trying to seem to. Mel Gibson has a larger role than I expected as the weapons
manufacturer Voz, and Antonio Banderas, Cuba Gooding Jr., Walt Goggins and Lady
Gaga have interesting roles playing the same character, known as the
Chameleon.
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