Horror Thoughts ‘13—Halloween (1978) ****

R, 91 min.

Director: John Carpenter

Writers: John Carpenter, Debra Hill

Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Donald Pleasance, Nancy Loomis, P.J. Soles, Charles Cyphers, Kyle Richards, Brian Andrews, Arthur Malet, Tony Moran, Nick Castle

I read an article last week that questioned whether John Carpenter’s genre changing picture “Halloween” was still scary after 35 years. They tested this question by showing the movie to twenty-somethings who had never seen it before. The reactions were mixed. Some thought it was silly, some thought it was good, but not that scary, while others felt it was quite effective. In other words, they discovered nothing.

Horror Thoughts ‘13—Hemlock Grove, season 1 (2013) **

TV-MA, 13 50-min. episodes

Developers: Brian McMcGreevy, Lee Shipman

Directors: Eli Roth, Deran Sarafian, David Semel, David Straiton, T.J. Scott

Writers: Brian McGreevy (also novel), Lee Shipman, Sheila Callaghan, Mark Verheiden, Daniel Paige, Rafe Judkins, Lauren LeFranc

Starring: Famke Janssen, Bill Skarsgård, Landon Liboiron, Penelope Mitchell, Freya Tingley, Dougray Scott, Nicole Boivin, Kandyse McClure, Aaron Douglas, Joel de la Fuente, Lili Taylor

Guest starring: Ted Dykstra, Michael Andreae, Eliana Jones, Emilia McCarthy, Kaniehtiio Horn, Holly Deveaux, Marty Adams, Philip Craig, Emily Piggford, Don Francks

I had a friend who watched this series long before I did. He’s someone who often turns me on to phenomenon shows before they become a full on phenomenon, like “Lost” after only a few episodes. He also tends to only watch television series’ for a couple of years, always complaining that they got “soap opera-y”. I think it has nothing to do with the melodramatic elements of the series, but rather he just gets bored of them. “Hemlock Grove” is good proof for this theory of mine.

Horror Thoughts ‘13—Demons 2 (1986) *½

UR, 88 min.

Director: Lamberto Bava

Writers: Dario Argento, Lamberto Bava, Franco Ferrini, Dardano Sacchetti

Starring: David Knight, Nancy Brilli, Coralina Cataldi Tassoni, Bobby Rhodes, Asia Argento, Virginia Bryant, Anita Bartolucci, Antonio Cantafora, Luisa Passega, Davide Marotta, Marco Vivio, Michelle Mirabella, Lorenzo Gioielli, Lino Salemme

“Demons 2” seems to be the same movie as “Demons” in every way. It’s executed with the same grimy brashness. The same bold unabashedness. The same abrupt frankness of shock and gore. The same plot. The same running time. Essentially the same types of characters (including some of the same actors playing different characters). The same creators. Pretty much the same effects. Exactly the same style. And yet, this time it comes across as more annoying than fun.

Horror Thoughts ‘13—Re-Animator (1985) ***½

UR, 95 min.

Director: Stuart Gordon

Writers: Dennis Paoli, William J. Norris, Stuart Gordon, H.P. Lovecraft (short story “Herbert West, Re-Animator”)

Starring: Bruce Abbott, Jeffrey Coombs, Barbara Crampton, David Gale, Robert Sampson, Gerry Black

Stuart Gordon’s “Re-Animator” is one of those cult classics that make the uninitiated scratch their heads and the cult followers relish the details. It’s campy and earnest all at once and makes for one of the most unique horror movie experiences out there. The plot follows the exploits of Herbert West, a young doctor who has taken his mentor’s beliefs about life after death a little too far.

Horror Thoughts ‘13—ParaNorman (2012) ***½

PG, 92 min.

Directors: Sam Fell, Chris Butler

Writer: Chris Butler

Voices: Kodi Smit-McPhee, Tucker Albrizzi, Anna Kendrick, Casey Affleck, Christopher Mintz-Plaase, Leslie Mann, Jeff Garlin, Elaine Stritch, Bernard Hill, Jodelle Ferland, Tempestt Bledsoe, Alex Borstein, John Goodman

I don’t think I gave this movie enough credit when I wrote my theatrical review of it a little more than a year ago. I was blown away by its production design, but I didn’t have as much to say about the story. Although I liked it, I was wrong. This isn’t merely a good movie; it’s darn near great. Now that I wasn’t so distracted by the beautiful images I was seeing, I paid a little more attention to the storytelling craft. This is a wonderful story and a wonderfully witty screenplay.

Horror Thoughts ‘13—Pelts (2006) **½

TV-MA, 58 min.

Director: Dario Argento

Writers: F. Paul Wilson, Matt Venne

Starring: Meat Loaf Aday, Ellen Ewusie, Link Baker, Emilio Salituro, Elsie Lew, John Saxon, Michal Suchanek, Brenda McDonald

Italian horror maestro Dario Argento’s second entry into the “Masters of Horror” television series, “Pelts”, is a better effort than his first. While “Jenifer” gave me the impression that Argento was pretty much just used as a hired hand, “Pelts” has more visual style that can be attributed to the Argento vision.

Penny Thoughts ‘13—Piranha (1978) **½

R, 94 min.

Director: Joe Dante

Writers: John Sayles, Richard Robinson

Starring: Bradford Dillman, Heather Menzies, Kevin McCarthy, Keenan Wynn, Dick Miller, Barbara Steele, Belinda Balaski, Melody Thomas, Bruce Gordon, Barry Brown, Paul Bartel, Shannon Collins, Shawn Nelson, Richard Deacon

So back in 1978 everybody was trying to make the next “Jaws”. “Piranha” was producer Roger Corman’s attempt at replicating the searing success that came along with that original summer blockbuster. For a Corman picture, “Piranha” really isn’t all that bad. That could have something to do with a script by John Sayles, who populates the characters with more ordinary problems before the absurd issue of swimming in a lake full of man-eating piranha becomes the focus of their concerns.

Horror Thoughts ‘13—The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (2001) ***

PG, 90 min.

Director/Writer: Larry Blamire

Starring: Larry Blamire, Fay Masterson, Andrew Parks, Susan McConnell, Brian Howe, Jennifer Blaire, Dan Conroy, Robert Deveau, Darrin Reed

“The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra” is a joy of a spoof of a 1950s era sci-fi horror b-movie. It has everything that made such films nearly unwatchable—poor quality black & white cinematography, bad acting, inane dialogue, absurd plots and even more absurd twists, horrendous special effects, and impossible monsters. I’ve seen spoofs like this one before, but none that were so spot on in the production design and film quality.

Horror Thoughts ‘13—The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (1970) ****

PG, 96 min.

Director/Writer: Dario Argento

Starring: Tony Musante, Suzy Kendall, Enrico Maria Salerno, Eva Renzi, Umberto Raho, Raf Valenti, Giuseppe Castellano, Mario Adorf, Pino Pati, Gildo DiMarco

“The Bird with the Crystal Plumage” is by far the most accomplished movie I’ve seen from cult horror director Dario Argento. It isn’t as horrific as some of his other work. It isn’t as out there either. It’s a pretty straightforward crime procedural really. It belongs in Horrorfest because it involves a serial killer and also is the foundation upon which one of the most prolific and influential horror directors planted his roots.

Horror Thoughts ‘13—Scarecrow (2013) ***

TV-14, 90 min.

Director: Sheldon Wilson

Writers: Rick Suvalle, Sheldon Wilson

Starring: Lacey Chabert, Robin Dunne, Nicole Muñoz, Brittney Wilson, Carlo Marks, Iain Belcher, Richard Harmon, Julia Maxwell

In the spirit of full disclosure, I must reveal that I consider the writer of this movie, Rick Suvalle,  a friend. I’ve reviewed a couple of his movies in the past, and felt I’d created a bit of awkwardness between us because I tried to be honest as I always do in my criticism. He claimed to appreciate my comments, and by that I mean the negatives I offered up about the films. From what I know of filmmaking most of my problems with those two movies had little to do with the writing. But still, I’m sure my comments stung a bit. For that I am sorry. Don’t worry, we’re still friends. However, I had assured him that instead of reviewing his most recent film, “Scarecrow”, I would merely offer some promotional comments and talk about it in terms of how it relates to my annual month long Horrorfest this year. He seemed nervous at just that prospect, but I insisted that I wouldn’t offer traditional film criticism. Then I watched the movie, and I really liked it. As I write this I still don’t know if this is going to be some sort of review, but I have to say, I really liked it.

Horror Thoughts ‘13—Toy Story of Terror (2013) ***

TV-G, 22 min.

Director: Angus MacLane

Writers: John Lasseter (characters), Andrew Stanton (characters)

Voices: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack, Carl Weathers, Stephen Tobolowsky, Timothy Dalton, Wallace Shawn, Don Rickles, Kristen Schaal, Kate McKinnon

Several years ago, the filmmakers who made the movie “Shrek” restarted the tradition of holiday specials starring popular animated characters from feature films. Finally, the animators at Pixar have gotten into the game of lending their characters to the holiday special with the first “Toy Story of Terror” to celebrate the upcoming holiday of Halloween. With all the original voice talent returning to their popular roles, the animators at Disney/Pixar have put together yet another fun “Toy Story” romp.

Horror Thoughts ‘13—Night of the Cobra Woman (1972) *

R, 85 min.

Director: Andrew Meyer

Writers: Kerry Magness, Andrew Meyer

Starring: Joy Bang, Marlene Clark, Roger Garrett, Vic Diaz, Rosemarie Gil, Slash Marks, Vic Silayan

The logic of how the cobra woman and her powers work in “Night of the Cobra Woman” are about as solid as the dialogue and the acting. Not a compliment.

Horror Thoughts ‘13—M is for Messiah (2013) ***

NR, 3 min.

Director: Michael Prince

Writer: William L. Bradley

Starring: Nathan Atkins, Ryan Izay, Brynn Izay

I have not seen “The ABCs of Death”, an anthology style horror flick that was released this spring that compiled 26 short films with each focusing on a letter of the alphabet. Apparently, its producers are already compiling the second ABCs film which will feature another 26 horror shorts shot by 26 new directors, including one to be chosen through a contest on the website. A friend of a friend has submitted one for the competition entitled “M is for Messiah”.

Horror Thoughts ‘13—My Amityville Horror (2013) ***½

NR, 88 min.

Director/Writer: Eric Walter

Featuring: Daniel Lutz, Laura DiDio, Susan Bartell, Lorraine Warren

“My Amityville Horror” looks at the real man who was just a boy when his family went through the events that inspired the book and series of films known as “The Amityville Horror”. It’s a documentary that depicts Daniel Lutz as a troubled man who has never been able to escape his past, although he tried to for quite some time. Now, he says he is ready to address what happened to him in that famous house for 28 days so many years ago.

Horror Thoughts ‘13—Demons (1985) ***

UR, 88 min.

Director: Lamberto Bava

Writers: Dario Argento, Dardano Sacchetti, Lamberto Bava, Franco Ferrini

Starring: Urbano Barberini, Natasha Hovey, Karl Zinny, Fiore Argento, Fabiola Toledo, Nicoletta Elmi, Stelio Candelli, Nicole Tessier, Geretta Giancarlo, Bobby Rhodes, Guido Baldi, Bettina Ciampolini

Speaking of b-horror movies… Sometimes they’re bad, but they’re also good. For some reason, horror maestro Dario Argento didn’t feel like directing his script for the movie “Demons”, so he passed the directing duties off to his long time second unit director Lamberto Bava, who comes to the Italian horror tradition with his own family history as son of the legendary director Mario Bava, known for such classics as “Bloody Sunday”, “A Bay of Blood”, and “Danger: Diabolik”.

Horror Thoughts ‘13—House (1986) ***

R, 93 min.

Director: Steve Miner

Writers: Fred Dekker, Ethan Wiley

Starring: William Katt, George Wendt, Richard Moll, Kay Lenz, Mary Stavin, Michael Ensign, Erik Silver, Mark Silver, Susan French

It has been a long time since I saw “House”. At the time of its release, I seem to remember that it was kind of revolutionary in the way it mixed horror and humor. In reality, it wasn’t really that revolutionary, since it stole this idea from Sam Raimi’s “Evil Dead” to some degree. It shares a good deal in common with Raimi’s vision, including some monster character designs that are surprisingly similar.

Horror Thoughts ‘13—Mickey Mouse in Ghoul Friend (2013) ***½

TV-G, 4 min.

Director/Writer: Paul Rudish

Voices: Chris Diamantopoulos, Bill Farmer

“Ghoul Friend” is a new Disney short from their Emmy-winning series “Mickey Mouse”, which produces new classic style Disney cartoons to run as fillers between Disney Channel shows. “Ghoul Friend” would be their Halloween entry which premiered last week, although I stumbled upon it on the website Zombie Apocalypse Monthly.

Horror Thoughts ‘13—Galaxy of Terror (1981) **½

R, 81 min.

Director: B.D. Clark

Writers: Marc Siegler, B.D. Clark

Starring: Edward Albert, Erin Moran, Ray Walston, Bernard Behrens, Zalman King, Robert Englund, Taaffe O’Connell, Sid Haig, Grace Zabriskie, Jack Blessing

“Galaxy of Terror” is surprisingly good for an early 80s Roger Corman flick. That might be due to James Cameron’s involvement in the production design and as the second unit director. Cameron would skyrocket to success just a few years later with his first “Terminator” movie. You can see some of his design signatures that are prominent in the “Terminator” movies and “Aliens” in the design of the space ship here, interior and exterior, and the design of the alien pyramid.

Machete Kills / ** (R)

Machete: Danny Trejo

Voz: Mel Gibson

Mendez: Demian Bichir

Miss San Antonio: Amber Heard

Luz: Michelle Rodriguez

Desdemona: Sofía Vergara

Mr. President: Carlos Estevez

La Camaléon: Lady Gaga

El Camaléon 4: Antonio Banderas

El Camaléon 1: Walt Goggins

El Camaléon 2: Cuba Gooding, Jr.

Cereza: Vanessa Hudgens

KillJoy: Alexa Vega

Zaror: Mark Zaror

Osiris Amanapur: Tom Savini

Open Road Films presents a film directed by Robert Rodriguez. Written by Kyle Ward. Screen story by Robert Rodriguez & Marcel Rodriguez. Running time: 107 min. Rated R (for strong bloody violence throughout, language and some sexual content).

In a tradition that has become a signature of the mock-grindhouse films of Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino, Rodriguez’s new film “Machete Kills” starts with a trailer for another grindhouse film. The name of the film is “Machete Kills Again… In Space”. This is confusing since I had just bought a ticket for “Machete Kills”. Why was I seeing a trailer for a sequel to a movie that was just released? The trailer reveals the plot of this second sequel to Rodriguez’s brilliant exploitation spoof “Machete” in pretty clear detail. We see Machete’s exploits in space in what appears to be a film that has lost all touch with the original “Machete” beyond the fact that it looks like a bad 70s b-movie. What happened to the renegade federalé who has turned into a Mexican folk hero with a penchant for unique weapons and a taste for the blood of evil men? Lasers and jet packs? Really?!

Horror Thoughts ‘13—Aftershock (2013) *½

R, 89 min.

Director: Nicolás López

Writers: Eli Roth, Nicolás López, Guillermo Amoedo

Starring: Andrea Osvárt, Nicolás Martínez, Eli Roth, Lauren Izzo, Ariel Levy, Natasha Yarovenko, Marcial Tagle

“Aftershock” is the torture porn version of a real life disaster. Inspired by the stories about a nightclub collapsing during an earthquake in Chile, torture porn horror maestro Eli Roth a scripted a mindless movie about the mindless people who get stuck in an earthquake disaster where everyone takes it as a queue to become savages, all the while a tsunami is brewing to crush them all in a tidal wave of epic proportions than can somehow climb the cliffs of Rio de Janeiro.

Horror Thoughts ‘13—Jenifer (2005) **

TV-MA, 58 min.

Director: Dario Argento

Writers: Steven Weber, Bruce Jones (short story)

Starring: Steven Weber, Carrie Anne Fleming, Brenda James, Harris Allen, Cynthia Garris, Jeff Ballard

Believe it or not this is the first of the “Masters of Horrors” television anthology series of films I’ve seen. They’ve all been on my radar since they first started airing on Showtime in the mid-aughts. The show featured a stand-alone hour-long horror film each episode directed by a well-known horror auteur. Dario Argento contributed two films to the 26 episode series. “Jenifer” was the fourth episode of season one. His second Masters of Horror film, “Pelts”, will be reviewed later this month.

Horror Thoughts ‘13—Phenomena (1985) ***

R, 110 min.

Director: Dario Argento
Writer: Dario Argento, Franco Ferrini

Starring: Jennifer Connelly, Donald Pleasence, Daria Nicololi, Fiore Argento, Federica Mastroianni, Fiorenza Tessari, Dalila De Lazzaro, Patrick Bauchau, Mario Donatone

Dario Argento’s follow up to “Tenebre” adds the supernatural back into his signature stylized filmmaking in “Phenomena”. Starring a young Jennifer Connelly, it tells the story of a girl who has the ability to communicate with insects. She is teased by her fellow students at a Swiss private school, but when a series of murders targets young women of the same age as those at the school, an entomologist point out to her how her special ability can help to solve the case.

Horror Thoughts ‘13—The Shining (1980) ***½

R, 146 min.

Director: Stanley Kubrick

Writers: Stanley Kubrick, Diane Johnson, Stephen King (novel)

Starring: Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall, Danny Lloyd, Scatman Crothers, Barry Nelson, Philip Stone, Joe Turkel, Anne Jackson

Now that I’ve watched Stanley Kubrick’s “The Shining” again since seeing the theory laden documentary “Room 237” about the many various possible meanings of Kubrick’s vision, I have come to the conclusion that “Room 237” couldn’t be more full of shit if it tried. There is one theory presented in that so-called documentary that holds any weight, and it the one anyone could gather from watching the movie, which is that it is an indictment against the treatment of the American Indian by the U.S. Government. Of course, that was a popular theme in horror movies at the time. Steven Spielberg’s “Poltergeist”, produced two years later, but written before “The Shining” was made has the very same theme. In fact, haunted houses built on top of Indian burial grounds had been around in the horror genre for a while, so the fact that the producers of “Room 237” were able to put that one together is no great feat.

Gravity / **** (PG-13)

Ryan Stone: Sandra Bullock

Matt Kowalski: George Clooney

Warner Bros. Pictures presents a film directed by Alfonso Caurón. Written by Alfonso Caurón and Jonás Caurón. Running time: 90 min. Rated PG-13 (for intense perilous sequences, some disturbing images, and brief strong language).

There are two historical events in man’s history with space that kept coming to mind throughout my screening of the new space thriller “Gravity”. One was the Apollo 13 mission, which saw the astronauts of that mission avoiding disaster with surprisingly low tech equipment and a good deal of improvisation. The events of that mission were memorably put to film in Ron Howard’s most accomplish movie of the same name. I was also reminded of the Space Shuttle Challenger mission, which met disaster in January of 1986 when the shuttle exploded shortly after its launch. One of the seven-crew members of this ill-fated mission was Christa McAuliffe, a civilian teacher from New Hampshire. “Gravity” is a jarring reminder that space is not the fantastical place that we often see in movies like “Star Wars” or “Star Trek”, but an extremely dangerous environment in which our fragility is magnified by the alien nature of its zero gravity conditions.

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2 / *** (PG)

Featuring the voice talents of:

Flint Lockwood: Bill Hader

Sam Sparks: Anna Faris

Tim Lockwood: James Caan

Chester V: Will Forte

Brent McHale: Andy Samberg

Manny: Benjamin Bratt

Steve: Neil Patrick Harris

Earl Devereaux: Terry Crews

Barb: Kristen Schaal

Columbia Pictures presents a film directed by Cody Cameron and Kris Pearn. Written by John Francis Daley, Jonathan M. Goldstein, Erica Rivinoja, Phil Lord and Christopher Miller. Based on characters created by Judi Barrett and Ron Barrett. Running time: 95 min. Rated PG (for mild rude humor).

I loved “Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs” to an unreasonable degree. I believe I only awarded it three and a half stars upon my initial screening because I knew deep down that it wasn’t as good as my enjoyment level of it. I wanted to award it four stars, though. I figured upon subsequent viewings my opinion of it would diminish, but it never has. I just love the wacky, almost non sequitur nature of its humor. It characters are loveable, and its humor is outrageous. So, when I learned there would be a “Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2”, it immediately became one of the most anticipated films of the year for me.

Horror Thoughts ‘13—Tenebre (1982) ***

X, 110 min.

Director/Writer: Dario Argento

Starring: Anthony Franciosa, Christian Borromeo, Mirella D’Angelo, Veronica Lario, Ania Pieroni, Eva Robins, Carola Stagnaro, John Steiner, Lara Wendel, John Saxon, Daria Nicolodi, Guiliano Gemma

The first in my series on Italian horror, “Tenebre” see’s Dario Argento taking the sensibilities of Itlalian horror he helped to make popular in the 70s into the 80s. He forgoes the supernatural element for a more straightforward serial killer storyline, but that change doesn’t mean he holds back on his extreme style. He’s got a thing about smashing through windows and that happens three or four times during this feature.

Horror Thoughts ‘13—Carrie (1976) ***½

R, 98 min.

Director: Brian De Palma

Writers: Lawrence D. Cohen, Stephen King (novel)

Starring: Sissy Spacek, Piper Laurie, Amy Irving, William Katt, Nancy Allen, Betty Buckley, John Travolta, P.J. Soles

Watching the opening credits of Brian De Palma’s “Carrie”, it struck me that this movie couldn’t be made today. That’s particularly poignant since they did just remake it and the remake will hit theaters on October 19. I imagine the opening sequence will be drastically different than the one De Palma crafted.

Horror Thoughts ‘13—The Lords of Salem (2013) ***

R, 101 min.

Director/Writer: Rob Zombie

Starring: Sheri Moon Zombie, Jeffery Daniel Phillips, Judy Geeson, Bruce Davidson, Patricia Quinn, Dee Wallace, Ken Foree, Meg Foster, Maria Conchita Alonso

“The Lords of Salem” came and went from theaters this past spring without much notice. After the success of director Rob Zombie’s two-film reboot of the “Halloween” franchise and the mega cult status of his masterpiece “The Devil’s Rejects”, I expected “The Lords of Salem” to be one of the most anticipated films of the year. After seeing it, I think it deserved more attention, but its casual reception also seems somewhat appropriate.

Horror Thoughts ‘13—Still Screaming: The Ultimate Scary Movie Retrospective (2011) **

NR, 90 min.

Director/Writer: Ryan Turek

Featuring: David Arquette, Brian Avery, Marco Beltrami, W. Earl Brown, Neve Campbell, Roger Corman, Wes Craven, Scott Foley, Laeta Kalogridis, Jamie Kennedy, Ehren Kruger, Matthew Lillard, Duane Martin, Heather Matarazzo, Laurie Metcalf, Elise Neal, Jerry O’Connell, Josh Pais, Parker Posey, Kelly Rutherford, Liev Schreiber, Jon Schwimmer (voice only), P.J. Soles, Henry Winkler

If “Still Screaming” proves anything about the makers of the “Scream” film series, it’s that they make a more compelling horror movie than they do documentary subjects. Late film critic Gene Siskel used to say that a good test of the quality of a movie was imagining whether a documentary of the same actors eating lunch would be more entertaining. They mostly just talk about how great their movies were here, but I’d rather be watching those movies than this one.

Horror Thoughts ‘13—Attack of the Crab Monsters (1957) **

NR, 62 min.

Director: Roger Corman

Writer: Charles B. Griffith

Starring: Richard Garland, Pamela Duncan, Russell Johnson, Leslie Bradley, Mel Welles, Richard Cutting, Beach Dickerson, Tony Miller

You know you are a film fanatic when you just can’t wait for the fake film festival you created just so you have an excuse to see bad b-movies like Roger Corman’s “Attack of the Crab Monsters”. Right out of the nuclear age of horror flicks that permeated the late 50s, “Attack of the Crab Monsters” is in many ways a wonderful piece of schlock even though it really isn’t any good.