Director: John Carpenter
Writers: John Carpenter,
Nick Castle
Starring: Kurt Russell, Lee
Van Cleef, Ernest Borgnine, Donald Pleasence, Isaac Hayes, Harry Dean Stanton,
Adrienne Barbeau, Season Hubley
Because this is Penny
Thoughts, this will not be a proper review. The great thing about that is it
gives me an excuse to watch the movie again sometime soon so I can review it
properly. No, instead of a review I’d like to tell a little story about Ernest
Borgnine, who passed away Sunday at the age of 95.
The Oscar-winning actor was
fairly well known for his friendliness and with more than 203 roles listed on
his IMDb page; he was quite prolific in his long acting career. That is why
this story is worth telling.
There were a few years that
went by when I attributed this story to myself, but it was actually my older
brother who once met Ernest Borgnine in a Florida elevator. We had just headed
in from the pool of a fairly well to do hotel on the Florida coast. I don’t
remember which hotel it was, but my brother and I were fairly bored there, as
the clientele was generally old and crusty. We were there for a business
conference for my father’s business. The company chose the place for its golf
course and not for its family activities. Most of the employees of the company
were old and crusty too.
Anyway, Dan and I were along
for the ride so the family could go to Disney World after the conference was
over. As I said we had headed in from the pool to get ready for dinner. Just as
the elevator opened, my brother realized he had forgotten something at the
pool. He said he’d meet me upstairs. Fifteen minutes later, I was ready for
dinner. We were on our own for dinner, because kids weren’t invited to the crusty-butts’
soiree. Dan had yet to return from the pool, so I went out to the elevator bank
to see if I could figure out what had happened to him.
Just as I arrived at the
elevators, one of the doors opened and my brother kind of drifted out, as if he
didn’t know quite where he was. “What took you so long?” I asked.
He still didn’t quite snap
out of his daze. He spoke almost as if he were in a trance. “You’ll never guess
who I just rode up the elevator with.”
I didn’t guess. I knew he
didn’t really want me to. But, the answer to his question was perhaps one of
the last people I expected.
“Ernest Borgnine,” he said,
stretching out his words as if he were a teenaged girl today who had just lived
out her short life’s long dream of meeting Justin Bieber.
I was taken aback. Not
because I couldn’t believe it so much as I couldn’t believe my brother even
knew who Ernest Borgnine was. He was never the movie buff that I was. “Ernest
Borgnine?” I had to confirm that he really knew whom he was talking about.
“Yes,” he said, “The Ernest Borgnine.”
The? I
thought.
“You mean the actor?” I
asked.
“Yes,” he seemed to finally
snap out of his schoolgirl crush daze, “Ernest Borgnine. The actor.” Then he
seemed to slip away again.
I waited for a bit to see if
there was more that had just popped into his mind. Nothing. “Did you say
anything to him?”
My brother started
scrunching his face up as if he’d done something terrible, “Well, yeah. I did,
but I wish you’d been there.”
“Why? What happened?” I
asked with growing curiosity. What had my brother subjected this cinematic icon
to?
“Well, I said, ‘You’re
Ernest Borgnine, aren’t you?’ And he said, “Why, yes I am.” So, I wanted to say
how great he was, but the only movie I could think of that he was in was
“Escape from New York”,” Dan got a worried look on his face.
“So?!” I said with
anticipation.
“Well, I knew he’d been in
much better movies than that one, but I couldn’t think of any of them. I don’t
even know if I’ve seen any of them.” He looked ashamed of himself.
“So!?” I repeated.
“That was it,” he said, “It
was kind of awkward after that.”
“That’s it?” I said aghast.
“You didn’t say anything else after asking him if he was Ernest Borgnine?”
Dan nodded.
“Because you thought he was
embarrassed by “Escape from New York”?”
Dan nodded again. “He was
really nice.”
And so, that’s what happened
when my brother met Ernest Borgnine in an elevator in Florida.
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