PG, 95 min.
Director: Stanley Kubrick
Writers: Stanley Kubrick,
Terry Southern, Peter George (also novel “Red Alert”)
Starring: Peter Sellers,
George C. Scott, Sterling Hayden, Slim Pickens, Peter Bull, Keenan Wynn, James
Earl Jones, Tracy Reed
“Dr. Strangelove” is part of
my Sochi Olympics inspired series of films because of it’s Cold War origins,
but this is one of those films where nothing I say about it can really add to
anything that hasn’t already been said about it. I could never properly express
how great this film is in my heart, so what I’d like to do I just quote some of
the film’s incredible lines, with their deliciously subversive satire. Also note
the wonderful character names.
“Gentlemen, you can’t fight
in here! This is the War Room.”
—President
Merkin Muffley
“Sir, you can't let him in
here. He'll see everything. He'll see the big board!”
—General
“Buck” Turgidson
“Mr. President, we must not
allow a mineshaft gap!”
—General
“Buck” Turgidson
“Mandrake, do you recall
what Clemenceau once said about war? … He said war was too important to be left
to the generals. When he said that, 50 years ago, he might have been right. But
today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the
time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer
sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist
subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all
of our precious bodily fluids.”
—General
Jack D. Ripper
“Oh-ho, that's much
better... yeah... huh... yes... Fine, I can hear you now, Dmitri... Clear and
plain and coming through fine... I'm coming through fine, too, eh?... Good,
then... well, then, as you say, we're both coming through fine... Good... Well,
it's good that you're fine and... and I'm fine... I agree with you, it's great
to be fine... a-ha-ha-ha-ha...”
—President
Merkin Muffley
“Gee, I wish we had one of
them doomsday machines.”
—General
“Buck” Turgidson
“Well, boys, we got three
engines out, we got more holes in us than a horse trader's mule, the radio is
gone and we're leaking fuel and if we was flying any lower why we'd need sleigh
bells on this thing... but we got one little budge on them Rooskies. At this
height why they might harpoon us but they dang sure ain't gonna spot us on no
radar screen!”
—Major
T.J. “King” Kong
“Now look, Colonel ‘Bat’ Guano—if
that really is your name…”
—Group
Capt. Lionel Mandrake
“Okay. I'm gonna get
your money for ya. But if you don't get the President of the United States on
that phone, you know what's gonna happen to you? … You're gonna have to answer
to the Coca-Cola company.”
—Colonel
“Bat” Guano
“Fluoridation is the
most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to
face.”
—General
Jack D. Ripper
“That's right, sir,
you are the only person authorized to do so. And although I, uh, hate to judge
before all the facts are in, it's beginning to look like, uh, General Ripper
exceeded his authority.”
—General
“Buck” Turgidson
“If the pilot's good,
see, I mean if he's reeeally sharp, he can barrel that baby in so low... oh you
oughta see it sometime. It's a sight. A big plane like a '52... varrrooom! Its
jet exhaust... frying chickens in the barnyard!”
—General
“Buck” TurgidsonPresented below is the entirety of the President's phone conversation with the Russian Premier, performed with amazing banality by Peter Sellers.
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