Penny Thoughts ‘12—The Three Stooges (2012) *

PG, 92 min.

Directors: Bobby Farrelly, Peter Farrelly

Writers: Mike Cerrone, Bobby Farrelly, Pater Farrelly

Starring: Sean Hayes, Will Sasso, Chris Diamantolpoulos, Jane Lynch, Sofia Vergara, Jennifer Hudson, Craig Bierko, Kirby Heyborne, Stephen Collins, Larry David, Kate Upton, The cast of The Jersey Shore, Brian Doyle-Murray, Isaiah Mustafa

In their heyday, Moe, Curly and Larry were seen on the big screen in 20-30 minute shorts. Famously, Moe Howard complained to the studio that they deserved a feature-length movie like other comic teams of the time, such as Abbott and Costello. The studio never granted them their feature-length film. Now, almost 80 years after their first film appearance, along comes “The Three Stooges” to prove the studio’s point.

The Stooges are great in small doses, but sustaining 90 minutes of running time becomes more like one of the more inventive methods of torture at Gitmo. Sure, these aren’t the real Three Stooges, they’re just modern actors made up to look like them. But they do a pretty good job at the look and the spirit of the original Stooges. They’re just not really very funny. Probably the best bit in the picture involved the Stooges fixing up a church bell and dropping things on a nun below. This was the most like a classic Stooges bit. That was fun for five minutes and then I was ready to move on.

Sure, the kids enjoyed it, while they were watching it. But, it’s only been a week and I doubt they even remember it now. I can’t imagine Sergeant Riggs worshiping this while blowing bad guys away.