ZAM Review—White Zombie (1932) ***

This review was originally written for and published at Zombie Apocalypse Monthly.

NR, 69 min.

Director: Victor Halperin

Writers: Garnet Weston (story & dialogue), William B. Seabrook (novel “The Magic Island”)

Starring: Bela Lugosi, Madge Bellamy, Joseph Cawthorn, Robert Frazier, John Harron

When I was in high school—way back in the late ‘80s—I was an avid comic book collector. Some of my favorite comics were those focusing on vintage crime heroes, like The Shadow. During their 10^th Anniversary, the independent comic book publisher Eclipse put out a Shadow type of one-shot based not only on the vintage crime hero The Prowler, but also on the cult classic horror movie “White Zombie” titled quite simply “The Prowler in White Zombie”.

It wasn’t a great comic book. The Prowler was such an obvious rip-off of The Shadow and didn’t carry half of The Shadow’s mysterious nature. The villain, however, was taken directly from the “White Zombie” movie’s Bela Lugosi character, who looked like one of the coolest of the actor’s career in B-horror flicks. I had never heard of the movie at the time and quickly looked it up.

Horror Thoughts ‘14—The Believers (1987) ***

R, 114 min.

Director: John Schlesinger

Writers: Mark Frost, Nicholas Conde (novel “The Religion”)

Starring: Martin Sheen, Helen Shaver, Harley Cross, Robert Loggia, Elizabeth Wilson, Harris Yulin, Lee Richardson, Richard Masur, Carla Pinza, Jimmy Smits, Raúl Dávila, Malick Bowens, Janet-Laine Green

Do you remember video stores? I would go into a video store, and it would take me an hour to find something to watch because they had everything. Even though everything at that point was a whole lot less than it is today, it was too much. I wanted to see so much and couldn’t decide what to see. I think the current streaming services do a good job of eliminating that problem. Netflix really has an amazing amount of titles available to stream, but you only ever seem to know about a limited number of them at once. It makes choosing a title a much easier task. It also opens the possibilities up to titles you might not have considered otherwise, either because it was only on your periphery of knowledge, or you’d seen it before, but had forgotten it to some degree, or many other reasons.

Horror Thoughts ‘14—Argento’s Dracula (2013) *½

NR, 110 min.

Director: Dario Argento

Writers: Dario Argento, Enrique Cerezo, Stefano Piani, Antonio Tenori, Bram Stoker (book)

Starring: Thomas Kretschmann, Marta Gastini, Asia Argento, Unax Ugalde, Miriam Giovanelli, Rutger Hauer, Maria Cristina Heller, Augusto Zucchi, Franco Guido Ravera, Francesco Rossini, Giovanni Franzoni

Dario Argento is the Italian cinematic maestro that helped put Italian horror on the map in the 70s with such visual gore orgies as “Suspiria”, “Deep Red” and “Inferno”. His extreme visual style all but defined this particular subgenre of cult horror filmmaking. So when news came that he would be tackling Bram Stoker’s horror classic “Dracula”, it was welcomed with much anticipation. While Argento’s more recent output hasn’t matched his earlier efforts, this was a master taking on another master’s work. It had to be worth watching, right?

Horror Thoughts ‘14—Cropsey (2009) ***½

NR, 84 min.

Directors: Barbara Brancaccio, Joshua Zeman

Writer: Joshua Zeman

Featuring: Joshua Zeman, Barbara Brancaccio, Dr. Bill Ellis, Dorothy D’Elletto, Karen Schweiger, Donna Cutugno, Ralph Aquino, Bobby Jenson, Andre Rand, Jim Callahan, Theresa Doyle

So we open Horrorfest this year with a documentary about a real life horror tale of an urban legend that turned out to be true, however the truth of it all is impossible to determine. Growing up on Staten Island, the filmmakers remember stories of Cropsey, an insane killer that would snatch kids if they were out too late in places they didn’t belong. Only once they were adults did they learn that these were not merely stories designed to make sure kids were home and safe when their parents wanted them home.

Horrorfest 2014

Once again my favorite time of year has rolled around, and once again all my reviews over the next month will concentrate on the horror genre or variations thereof. That is about all that will be the same this year, however. This will be the first year I go into Horrorfest without a clear plan about what movies I’m going to watch over the next month. I’m a little excited about this prospect at going into it without a plan of attack. Of course, that makes it a little difficult to put together some sort of preview for it.

What fueled this change of format are some major life changes. At the very end of last year’s Horrorfest my family suffered a minor tragedy that uprooted many of the way things had been for quite some time. It didn’t affect last year’s Horrorfest as I’d finished watching all the films on my schedule before it happened. Immediately after Horrorfest ended, A Penny in the Well felt the changes. A movie a day was just no longer possible to keep up. I still do my best, but there is only so much time in a day and a week. The addition of my fourth child this past spring has made things even more difficult time wise and there are more important things to concentrate my energies on than movies. Movies are still important, however, and horror movies are my favorites. So Horrorfest will prevail.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—Big Trouble in Little China (1986) ***

PG-13, 99 min.

Director: John Carpenter

Writers: Gary Goldman, David Z. Weinstein, W.D. Richter

Starring: Kurt Russell, Kim Catrall, Donnie Dun, James Hong, Victor Wong, Kate Burton, Donald Li, Carter Wong, Peter Kwong, James Pax, Suzee Pai, Chao Li Chi

After finally viewing “Howard the Duck”, I felt I needed to cleanse my palate with another purely 80s flick that is much more satisfying. I had never seen “Big Trouble in Little China” either, but I was taking a bit less of a gamble, since unlike “Howard” this one holds a high cult status rather than a low one. I’d seen much of it throughout the years in bits and pieces, but never the entire thing. It is directed by one of the greatest and underappreciated filmmakers of the 80s, John Carpenter.

The Maze Runner / *** (PG-13)

Thomas: Dylan O’Brien

Gally: Will Poulter

Newt: Thomas Brodie-Sangster

Teresa: Kaya Scodelario

Alby: Aml Ameen

Minho: Ki Hong Lee

Chuck: Blake Cooper

Ava Paige: Patricia Clarkson

20^th Century Fox presents a film directed by Wes Ball. Written by Noah Oppenheim and Grant Pierce Myers and T.S. Nowlin. Based on the novel by James Dashner. Running time: 113 min. Rated PG-13 (for thematic elements and intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, including some disturbing images).

It must be a great time to be a developing reader. It seems the young adult fantasy/sci-fi/horror literature genre is gong through some sort of renaissance of late, if the movie adaptations are any indication. In truth, there have been a great number of romances and dramas to come out of young adult literature of late as well. As I get older I find it harder to get excited about these films, but I would imagine were I reading the material that inspires them, I’d be very excited about them. As Toby Maguire complained this past week, it seems young adult novel adaptations and superhero movies are the only options left in film for young performers.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—Howard the Duck (1986) *

PG, 110 min.

Director: Willard Huyck

Writers: Willard Huyck, Gloria Katz, Steve Gerber (Marvel comic book character)

Starring: Lea Thompson, Ed Gale, Jeffrey Jones, Tim Robbins, Paul Guilfoyle

Voice: Chip Zien

So the big credit cookie in this summer’s blockbuster Marvel hit “Guardians of the Galaxy” featured an obscure Marvel character who has already had his shot at a feature film. “Howard the Duck” has gone down as one of the worst flops in movie history. Executive produced by George Lucas, the late summer release in 1986 was panned by critics and ignored by audiences, for some pretty good reasons. The biggest of which is that it really is horrible.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—Orange Is the New Black, season 2 (2014) ****

TV-MA, 13 60+min. episodes

Creator: Jenji Kohan

Directors: Jodie Foster, Michael Trim, Phil Abraham, Andrew McCarthy, Allison Anders, Daisy von Schuler Mayer, S. J. Clarkson, Jennifer Getzinger, Constantine Makris

Writers: Jenji Kohan, Piper Kerman (book), Sian Heder, Tara Herrmann, Lauren Morelli, Nick Jones, Stephen Falk, Sara Hess, Hartley Voss, Alex Regnery

Starring: Taylor Schilling, Uzo Aduba, Danielle Brooks, Michael J. Harney, Natasha Lyonne, Taryn Manning, Kate Mulgrew, Jason Biggs, Kimko Glenn, Laverne Cox, Wanda Bell, Lea DeLaria, Joel Marsh Garland, Annie Golden, Diane Guerrero, Selenis Leyva, Matt McGorry, Adrienne C. Moore, Matt Peters, Jessica Pimental, Dascha Polanco, Alysia Reiner, Elizabeth Rodriguez, Nick Sandow, Yael Stone, Lorraine Toussaint, Samira Wiley, Vicky Jeudy, Emma Myles, Jackie Cruz, Maria Dizzia, Beth Fowler, Lin Tucci, Julie Lake, Barbara Rosenblat

Guest starring: Laura Prepon, Deborah Rush, Todd Susman, Lori Petty, Lauren Lapkus, Laura Gomez, Ian Paola, Pat Squire, Abigail Savage, Richard Gallagher, Constance Schulman, Yvette Freeman, Judith Roberts, Dale Soules, Michael Chernus, Tracee Chimo, Ramon Franco, Lori Tan Chin, Sanja Danilovic, Lolita Foster, Mary Looram, Alex Wraith, Nick Stevenson, Peter Rini, Alan R. Rodriguez, Stephanie Andujar, Pablo Schreiber, Germar Terrell Gardner, Ben Konigsberg, Jamie Denbo, Deirdre Lovejoy, Brendon Burke, Bill Hoag, Tanya Wright, Hamilton Clancy, Stephen O’Reilly, Aubrey Sinn, Tiki Barber, Ricky Garcia, Trey Gerrald, Donté Grey

There is really one word that describes the strength of season two of the Netflix series “Orange Is the New Black” which sets it apart from its previous season. That word is “Vee.” Of anything that was different about this show from the first season, it was the addition of the character of Vee, played spectacularly by Lorraine Toussaint, that brought it to a new level. Vee added an element to the Litchfield prison that really had been lacking in the first season—a villain.

The Expendables 3 / ** (PG-13)

Barney Ross: Sylvester Stallone

Lee Christmas: Jason Statham

Drummer: Harrison Ford

Trench: Arnold Schwarzenegger

Stonebanks: Mel Gibson

Doc: Wesley Snipes

Gunner Jenson: Dolph Lundgren

Toll Road: Randy Couture

Caesar: Terry Crews

Bonaparte: Kelsey Grammer

Thorn: Glen Powell

Galgo: Antonio Banderas

Mars: Victor Ortiz

Luna: Ronda Rousey

Smilee: Kellan Lutz

Goran Vata: Robert Davi

Yin Yang: Jet Li

Lionsgate presents a film directed by Patrick Hughes. Written by Sylvester Stallone and Creighton Rothenberger & Katrin Benedikt. Based on characters created by David Callaham. Running time: 126 min. Rated PG-13 (for violence including sustain gun battles and fight scenes, and for language).

Here’s the thing. I really wanted “The Expendables” franchise to be a great badass cheesey return to 80’s action flicks. I wanted this so bad that I returned to it every time they released a new one despite how bad the last one was. “The Expendables 3” is actually the best of the bunch, but these star-packed action debacles have obviously worn out their welcome.

Boyhood / **** (R)

Mason: Ellar Coltrane

Mom: Patricia Arquette

Dad: Ethan Hawke

Samantha: Lorelei Linklater

IFC Films presents a film written and directed by Richard Linklater. Running time: 165 min. Rated R (for language including sexual references, and for teen drug and alcohol use).

“It’s like the moment is always right now.”

                                                            —Mason, “Boyhood”.

Mason is the central figure in the boldest movie ever made by independent filmmaker Richard Linklater, “Boyhood”. Those are the last words spoken in the movie. They at once encapsulate the meaning behind the entire movie and the fact that there is nothing conventional about any movie that takes twelve years to film, depicting the childhood of a boy from age 6 to age 18. Mason speaks the words and they kind of peeter off toward the end of his sentence because he and the audience recognize the rather pathetic attempt at depth he is making, and yet as a line in this movie in particular, his thought is rather profound.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—Sophie’s Choice (1982) ****

R, 150 min.

Director: Alan J. Pakula

Writers: Alan J. Pakula, William Styron (novel)

Starring: Meryl Streep, Kevin Kline, Peter MacNicol

I saw Alan J. Pakula’s “Sophie’s Choice” as a child. It may have been my first real experience with The Holocaust. I don’t think I even saw the entire movie. Certainly if I did, the whole love triangle stuff between Meryl Streep, Kevin Kline and Peter MacNicol flew far above my innocent mind. But, the choice Sophie had to make in the concentration camp. Well, that stuck with me. I was devastated that such a thing could be asked of a person.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—RoboCop (2014) ***½

PG-13, 117 min.

Director: José Padilha

Writers: Joshua Zetumer, Edward Neumeier (also 1987 film), Michael Miner (also 1987 film)

Starring: Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Abbie Cornish, Jackie Earle Haley, Michael K. Williams, Jennifer Ehle, Jay Baruchel, Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Samuel L. Jackson, Aimee Garcia, John Paul Ruttan, Patrick Garrow

“RoboCop” is the umpteenth remake of an 80’s classic in recent years. For the most part they haven’t been a half bad bunch of films. “RoboCop” might be the best of the bunch.

That may be because the original “RoboCop” wasn’t exactly a masterpiece of cinema, but it was based on some pretty profound social commentary. What held the original back was that it was more intent on becoming one of the hardest ‘R’ rated movies of the decade in terms of bloody violence.

So now comes “RoboCop” the reboot rated PG-13 for a public that has become totally desensitized to its violence. In truth, I believe this still should’ve been rated ‘R’ even though it isn’t nearly as graphic as the original. Its story is almost identical to the original, although its themes are quite different.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—Muppets Most Wanted (2014) ***

PG, 107 min.

Director: James Bobin

Writers: James Bobin, Nicholas Stoller

Starring: Ricky Gervais, Tina Fey, Ty Burrell, Tony Bennett, Hugh Bonneville, Jermaine Clement, Sean Combs, Rob Corddry, Mackenzie Crook, Céline Dion, Lady Gaga, Zack Galifianakis, Josh Groban, Salma Hayek, Tom Hiddleston, Tom Hollander, Toby Jones, Frank Langella, Ray Liotta, James McAvoy, Chloë Grace Moretz, Usher Raymond, Miranda Richardson, Saoirse Ronan, Til Schweiger, Danny Trejo, Stanley Tucci, Christoph Waltz

Voices: Steve Whitmire, Eric Jacobson, Dave Goelz, Bill Barretta, David Rudman, Matt Vogel, Peter Linz

At the beginning of “Muppets Most Wanted” the entire muppet cast sings a musical number about the fact that they’re making a sequel. During the song they admit that sequels aren’t quite as good as the original. “Muppets Most Wanted” isn’t as good as its predecessor, simply titled “The Muppets”, but it retains the same spirit captured by that one, inspired by the original “The Muppet Show” television series.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—The Visitor (1979) **½

R, 108 min.

Director: Michael J. Paradise

Writers: Ovidio Assonitis, Lou Comici, Robert Mundy, Michael J. Paradise

Starring: Joanne Nail, Paige Conner, John Huston, Lance Henriksen, Shelley Winters, Mel Ferrer, Glenn Ford, Sam Peckinpah, Franco Nero

I’ll admit it. I’m not above film snobbery. I’ve been known to praise movies that are a statement against the mainstream and nothing more. I like to see things in movies that I haven’t seen before. One of my favorite against the grain directors, Werner Herzog, has said that we are starving for new images. While many arthouse films are predicated on the ideal to provide these original images, not all of them do it well.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—The Longest Yard (1974) ***

R, 121 min.

Director: Robert Aldrich

Writers: Tracy Keenan Wynn, Albert S. Ruddy

Starring: Burt Reynolds, Eddie Albert, Ed Lauter, Michael Conrad, Jim Hampton, Harry Caesar, John Steadman, Charles Tyner, Mike Henry, Jim Nicholson, Bernadette Peters, Pervis Atkins, Tony Cacciotti, Anitra Ford, Michael Fox, Joe Kapp, Richard Kiel

Long before 7’2” tall actor Richard Kiel portrayed one of the most famous James Bond henchmen in “The Spy Who Loved Me”, he appeared in a smaller role in the Burt Reynolds prison football comedy “The Longest Yard”. You wouldn’t have noticed from his performance as Jaws in the two Bond films in which he appeared, but Kiel had a very clear speaking voice. Seeing him speak in “The Longest Yard” is somewhat shocking, because you’re really expecting him to sound a little more like he has marbles in his mouth.

No Words

Penny Thoughts ‘14—Under the Skin (2014) ***½

R, 108 min.

Director: Jonathan Glazer

Writers: Walter Campbell, Jonathan Glazer, Michel Faber (novel)

Starring: Scarlett Johansson

“Under the Skin” is one of those cerebral sci-fi flicks that leave the majority of viewers cold. It’s meant to. I’m sure many people will go into this film expecting something like Scarlett Johansson’s recent “Lucy”. After seeing this bleak film set with the backdrop of a beautiful but bleak Scotland winterscape, many will wonder what they just saw. Some will complain that it was slow and depressing and that nothing happens. This opening paragraph is for those people who will feel that way. You can stop reading now.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—Bad Words (2014) ***

R, 89 min.

Director: Jason Bateman

Writer: Andrew Dodge

Starring: Jason Bateman, Kathryn Hahn, Rohan Chand, Philip Baker Hall, Allison Janney, Ben Falcone, Steve Witting, Rachael Harris

Jason Bateman’s “Bad Words” isn’t the shot of shock and awe it purports to be. It is an enjoyable adult comedy, though. It involves a grown man who participates in a national spelling bee through a loophole in the rules. It is about how his presence angers everyone involved in the bee, including parents, organizers, and even a journalist whom he drags along in order to threaten the contest organizers with the law and have some unhealthy sex under the promise of an exclusive story about his motivations for participating in the bee. The other contestants, however, seem singularly unphased by his participation, except when he sabotages them with inappropriate implications just before they’re supposed to spell. And one of the other contestants rather likes him.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—Anaconda (1997) *

PG-13, 89 min.

Director: Luis Llosa

Writers: Hans Bauer, Jim Cash, Jack Epps Jr.

Starring: Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, Jon Voight, Eric Stoltz, Jonathan Hyde, Owen Wilson, Kari Wuhrer, Vincent Castellanos, Danny Trejo

For a moment, I actually considered giving this a half star more for the guilty pleasure factor of the film. But, like the ridiculously successful SyFy flick “Sharknado”, bad just doesn’t make it good.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—Welcome to Sweden, season 1 (2014) ***

TV-14, 10 21-min. episodes

Creator: Greg Poehler

Director: Carl Åstrand

Writers: Greg Poehler, Josephine Bornebusch, Niclas Carlsson, Peter Arrhenius, Jesper Harrie, Martin Soneby

Starring: Greg Poehler, Josephine Bornebusch, Lena Olin, Claes Månsson, Christopher Wagelin

Guest starring: Per Svensson, Amy Poehler, Basim Sabah Albasim, Will Ferrell, Aubrey Plaza, Madeleine Martin, Hanna Ahlström, Claudia Galli, Illeana Douglas, Patrick Duffy, Björn Ulvaeus, Björn Ranelid, Marques Ray, Malin Åkerman, Gustav Roth, Pam Murphy, Matt Oberg

When I was about 10, my family hosted an exchange student from Sweden. It was like having an alien coming to live with you. Well, it was for a ten-year-old. He was tall, devastatingly handsome. He played futball. He had no idea how to play football. He listened to strange music (Pink Floyd). He smelled funny (cologne). And, by the time he left some nine months later, he was a member of the family. He attended my wedding. He’s held an open invitation for any of us to visit him in Sweden. Like the fools we are, we’ve never made good on this. Perhaps now I will.

Joan Rivers (1933-2014)

I became aware of Joan Rivers as I did most celebrities as a child; she was on TV. It didn’t matter if they were a movie star or a television star, a comedian or rock star. I saw them on TV. Rivers was a TV presence. I knew she was a comedian, but I never seemed to catch her act when I was young. Today I know why.

Word came today from River’s daughter and business partner in some endeavors, Melissa that the comedy legend had passed away at the age of 81. The television host went into cardiac arrest during a medical procedure on September 3. She had been rushed to Mount Sinai Hospital in New York after experiencing complications during throat surgery at New York Medical Clinic on August 28. Accounts on what had occurred had been vague, but Melissa updated fans with a statement today after her mother’s death. “She passed today surrounded by family and close friends,” Melissa continued, “My mother’s greatest pleasure in life was to make people laugh.”

Although my own personal experience with the comedian was peripheral in my youth—with her performance as Dot Matrix in the Mel Brooks “Star Wars” skewering “Spaceballs” comprising most of my knowledge of her—I would later in life come to appreciate her contribution to the entertainment industry as a whole. Rivers was the first female to sit in the host chair of “The Tonight Show”, having filled in on several occasions for longtime host Johnny Carson. It was long assumed that Rivers was being groomed to replace Carson when she was offered her own late night program on another network. Her show failed, and the incident went down in the annals of the dramatic late night history as resulting in NBC “banning” the comedian from appearing on any of their shows for multiple decades. On a recent appearance on “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon”, Rivers down played the history as water under the bridge.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—All Night Long (1963) ***

NR, 91 min.

Director: Basil Deardon

Writers: Nel King, Peter Achilles, William Shakespeare (play “Othello”)

Starring: Patrick McGoohan, Keith Michell, Marti Stevens, Paul Harris, Betsy Blair, Richard Attenborough, Bernard Braden, Harry Towb, María Velasco, Dave Brubeck, Johnny Dankworth, Charles Mingus, Bert Courtley, Keith Christie, Ray Dempsey

So for a few days now, I’ve been searching for a way to remember actor/director Richard Attenborough, who passed away earlier this week. Attenborough was a renowned actor and director.

As an actor he was best known in his early career as a military man in such pictures as “The Great Escape” (1963), “Guns at Batasi” (1964), “The Flight of the Phoenix” (1965), and “The Sand Pebbles” (1967). He also appeared in “Doctor Doolittle” (1968), “10 Rellington Place” (1971), Satyajit Ray’s “The Chess Players” (1977), and Otto Preminger’s “The Human Factor” (1979). He was perhaps best known to modern audiences, however, for his late career rolls as John Hammond in Steven Spielberg’s “Jurassic Park” (1993) and “Jurassic Park: The Lost World” (1997), and as Kris Kringle in the 1994 holiday remake “Miracle on 34^th Street”.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—Ernest & Celestine (2014) ****

PG, 80 min.

Directors: Stéphane Aubier, Vincent Patar, Benjamin Renner

Writers: Daniel Pennac, Gabrielle Vincent (book)

Voices: Forest Whitaker, Mackenzie Foy, Lauren Bacall, Paul Giamatti, William H. Macy, Megan Mullally, Nick Offerman, Jeffery Wright

Here’s a word of advice. When you see the list of Oscar nominees for best animated feature each year, find the movie you’ve never heard of on it and that will be one of the best movies you’ve ever seen. Perhaps this year’s nominees aren’t the best exampl, because “Frozen” was the winner and in many ways deserved it. Also nominated this year was Hayao Miyazaki’s “The Wind Rises”, so far unseen by me, but undoubtedly filled with his signature genius. With the fantastic French-Belgian anime “Ernest & Celestine”, this year brought three amazing candidates for the sometimes pointless prize.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—Sanctum (2011) **

R, 108 min.

Director: Alister Grierson

Writers: John Garson, Andrew Wight

Starring: Rhya Wakefield, Richard Roxburgh, Ioan Gruffudd, Alice Parkinson, Dan Wyllie, Christopher Baker, Nicole Downs, Allison Crathcley

So “Sanctum” came out about a year after “Avatar” boasting James Cameron’s name all over it as an executive producer. I don’t really know what that means. It certainly doesn’t seem to mean that he came in and looked over the script or the editing process and offered his advice on how to make it better, because the distance between this movie and one written and directed by Cameron is as immense as the cavernous hole in which all the action of this movie takes place.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles / ** (PG-13)

April O’Neil: Megan Fox

Vernon Fenwick: Will Arnett

Eric Sacks: William Fichtner

Bernadette Thompson: Whoopi Goldberg

Voice & motion capture performances:

Raphael: Alan Ritchson

Michelangelo: Noel Fisher

Leonardo: Pete Ploszek

Leonardo (voice): Johnny Knoxville

Donatello: Jeremy Howard

Splinter: Danny Woodburn

Splinter (voice): Tony Shaloub

Shredder: Tohoru Masamune

Paramount Pictures and Nickelodeon Movies present a film directed by Jonathan Liebesman. Written by Josh Appelbaum & André Nemec and Evan Daugherty. Based on the comic book by Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman. Running time: 101 min. Rated PG-13 (for sci-fi action violence).

I’m gonna be honest here. I’ve never liked “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”. When I first started collecting comic books in 1986, the independent comic book scene was on the rise, and leading the charge was Mirage Studio’s “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”. I understood that it was meant to be a parody of popular comic books at the time, but I just couldn’t get into the humor and attitude of the book. As such, I am not the audience for any cinematic incarnation of “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”.

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For / **½ (R)

Marv: Mickey Rourke

Nancy: Jessica Alba

Dwight: Josh Brolin

Johnny: Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Gail: Rosario Dawson

Hartigan: Bruce Willis

Ava: Eva Green

Senator Roark: Powers Boothe

Manute: Dennis Haysbert

Joey: Ray Liotta

Mort: Christopher Meloni

Bob: Jeremy Piven

Kroenig: Christopher Lloyd

Dimension Films and Miramax present of film directed by Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller. Written by Frank Miller, based on his graphic novel series. Running time: 102 min. Rated R (for strong brutal stylized violence throughout, sexual content, nudity and brief drug use).

“2005’s “Sin City” represented the ultimate marriage of the two media formats [cinema & graphic novels]. Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller combined their talents, with a little help from Quentin Tarantino, to near literally present a comic book on screen. Miller’s gritty noir graphic novel, upon which the movie is based, reads like some sort of noir hell where the characters are archetypes paying for the sins of all their ancestors in bullets and blood. “Sin City” proves how cinema can even enhance other forms of pop culture.”

I wrote that for my list of the past decade’s 25 best films. “Sin City” changed the way filmmakers conceived of how to make a movie. Nearly a decade later, Miller and Rodriguez finally hand us the long awaited and much talked about sequel to that amazing movie; and while I don’t think the style has played itself out, these filmmakers might’ve. As much as the first film felt fresh and uninhibited, “Sin City: A Dame to Kill For” feels tired and ready to give up.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—Sabotage (2014) **½

R, 109 min.

Director: David Ayers

Writers: Skip Woods, David Ayers

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Olivia Williams, Sam Worthington, Mireille Enos, Joe Manganiello, Terrence Howard, Josh Holloway, Max Martini, Kevin Vance, Harold Perrineau

I loved David Ayers’ last film, “End of Watch”. I was excited to see what he could do with an aging Arnold Schwarzenegger. “Sabotage” isn’t your average testosterone-driven action or heist movie, but it doesn’t quite work either.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—Tiny: A Story About Living Small (2013) ***

NR, 66 min.

Directors: Merete Miller, Christopher Smith

Writer: Merete Miller

Featuring: Christopher Miller, Merete Miller, Daryl Gibson, Jay Shafer, Logan Smith, Paul Smith, William Smith, Tammy Strobel, Dee Williams

I hate, hate, hate home improvement shows. My wife loves them and invariably I will walk into the living room on a Saturday afternoon and one of the cursed things will be on my TV. However, there is one home designing phenomenon that I have to admit is a guilty pleasure of mine—tiny houses. I will click on any Facebook link that has anything to do with tiny houses. I love the ultra-simplification philosophy that goes into them. I like the lower environmental footprint they promote. But mostly, I just love to see how their designers find different ways to fit all the basics of living and even one or two luxuries into less than 200 square feet.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—American Horror Story: Coven (2013-2014) **

TV-MA, 13 50-min. episodes

Creators: Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk

Directors: Alfonso Gomez-Rejon, Michael Rymer, Michael Uppendahl, Jeremy Podeswa, Bradley Buecker, Howard Duetch

Writers: Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk, Tim Minear, James Wong, Jennifer Salt, Jessica Sharzer, Douglas Petrie

Starring: Sarah Paulson, Taissa Farmiga, Frances Conroy, Evan Peters, Lily Rabe, Emma Roberts, Denis O’Hare, Kathy Bates, Jessica Lange, Gabourey Sidibe, Jaimie Brewer, Angela Bassett

Guest starring: Josh Hamilton, Patti LuPone, Alexandra Breckenridge, Mare Winningham, Christine Ebersol, Alexander Dreymon, Leslie Jordan, Danny Huston, Stevie Nicks, Lance Reddick, Michael Cristofer, Mike Colter

I enjoyed the first two seasons of “American Horror Story”. They were bold experiments in long form horror. The first season took an original look at the haunted house story and season two examined a serial killer plot, with some religious and alien abduction elements thrown in. In its third season, AHS takes on the supernatural world of witches, and it just doesn’t work.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—her (2013) ***½

R, 126 min.

Director/Writer: Spike Jonze

Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Amy Adams, Rooney Mara, Chris Pratt, Olivia Wilde, Matt Letscher, Laura Kai Chen, Portia Doubleday

Voices: Scarlett Johansson, Kristen Wiig, Spike Jonze, Brian Cox

I’m not sure whether Spike Jonze’s latest movie “her” is telling us that relationships are necessary or not. It depicts a future where computer operating systems are able to develop personalities. It follows a writer who ends up falling in love with his operating system. While this is presented as an isolated event at first, the movie broadens its scope to show us that what this man is going through is happening all over this future world and in most ways these relationships differ little from relationships with real people. All that’s missing is the physical relationship, although at one point the man’s OS tries to fix that too.

Into the Storm / ** (PG-13)

Gary: Richard Armitage

Allison: Sarah Wayne Callies

Pete: Matt Walsh

Donnie: Max Deacon

Trey: Nathan Kress

Kaitlyn: Alycia Debnam Carey

Daryl: Arlen Escarpeta

Jacob: Jeremy Sumpter

Donk: Kyle Davis

Reevis: Jon Reep

New Line Cinema presents a film directed by Steven Quale. Written by John Swetnam. Running time: 89 min. Rated PG-13 (for sequences of intense destruction and peril, and language including some sexual references).

While we all can’t help watching a car crash, there’s something about the scale of destruction that comes along with tornadoes that makes me question the reverence involved in turning them into summertime entertainment. I wonder if there’s a way to make a movie about a tornado destroying a small town that would really seem appropriate in respect to the real life victims of such events. If there is, Hollywood has yet to find the secret ingredient. In 1996’s “Twister” there was a little too much of Hollywood formula silliness. Nearly twenty years and countless tornado disasters later we now get “Into the Storm”, which elevates the level of tornadic activity and attempts to elevate the level of realism, yet still feels silly in respect to real life disasters.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—Dark Passage (1947) ***

NR, 106 min.

Director: Delmer Daves

Writers: Delmer Daves, David Goodis (novel)

Starring: Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, Bruce Bennett, Agnes Moorehead, Tom D’Andrea, Clifton Young, Douglas Kennedy, Rory Mallinson, Houseley Stevenson

Earlier this week, we lost two Hollywood legends. While Robin Williams dominated the media coverage, it was quietly announced the next day that Lauren Bacall had also passed away. She was 89. She died in New York of an apparent stroke.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—Orca (1977) ***

PG, 92 min.

Director: Michael Anderson

Writers: Luciano Vincenzoni, Sergio Donati

Starring: Richard Harris, Charlotte Rampling, Keenan Wynn, Peter Hooten, Bo Dereck, Will Sampson, Robert Carradine, Scott Walker

Certainly in many ways “Orca” is a ridiculous movie. It’s a shameless attempt by Hollywood to capitalize on the success of Steven Spielberg’s “Jaws” from two years prior. It’s taken from an Italian script—cleaned up for Hollywood by an uncredited Robert Towne—stars two British actors who were known to American audiences but far from the A-list, and it grossly misrepresents the behaviors of killer whales and the terrible practices of the industry involved in hunting them. However, it’s a surprisingly good revenge story.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—World’s Greatest Dad (2009) ***½

R, 99 min.

Director/Writer: Bobcat Goldthwait

Starring: Robin Williams, Daryl Sabara, Alexie Gilmore, Evan Martin, Henry Simmons, Geoff Pierson, Lorraine Nicholson, Mitzi McCall, Tony V., Naomi Glick, Zach Sanchez, Ellie Jamison, Michael Moore, Jermaine Williams

OK. First of all, it’s important that we get a hold of ourselves. Just because we’re worked up that a beloved comedian has been taken away from us, let’s not just jump to the conclusion that a three and a half star review of a movie of his that we’ve never heard of means that we’re going to get an actual good version of “Patch Adams”. “World’s Greatest Dad” is a very dark comedy. It isn’t Robin Williams running around in a dress and a wig putting out the fire on his fake grandma boobs. It isn’t the manic straight man making it seem OK to other straight people that gay people exist, because they’re funny. It isn’t another Mork from Ork teaching us the greeting “Nanu, nanu.” This is a movie that may inform us as to the dark nature of the thoughts that might’ve fueled the genius we all lost.

Robin Williams (1951-2014)

Comedian and actor Robin Williams has lost his lifelong battle with his own inner demons. The voice of the Genie in Disney’s “Aladdin” was found dead today in his California home of an apparent suicide. Williams’ acting and stand up was often characterized as manic, which may have been due to his battles with his own personality. It was no secret that Williams battled depression for most of his life. Early in his career this led to substance abuse, a hurdle he eventually overcame. It’s a shame that what fueled the comedy he used to bring joy into so many lives is probably what also took his life in the end.

I was first introduced to Williams through the “Mork & Mindy” television show in which Williams portrayed an alien from the planet Ork who crash landed on Earth and came to live with a single woman named Mindy. The series was a spin-off of the popular show “Happy Days” where Williams originated the character of Mork. Williams’ manic nature made him seem as if he really were an alien from another planet. For a time his alien greeting “Nanu nanu” became a cultural maker.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—Cane Toads: The Conquest (2011) ****

PG, 82 min.

Director/Writer: Mark Lewis

Featuring: Henry Richards, Neil Young (not that one)

“Nature finds a way.”

                                                —Dr. Ian Malcolm, “Jurassic Park”.

It’s amazing the amount of wisdom you can find about nature in the movie “Jurassic Park”. I would like to suggest to the residents of Northern Australia that they should heed Ian Malcolm’s words in their quest to squelch their problem of the advancement of the population of cane toads in the region. My guess is that the people featured in the movie “Cane Toads: The Conquest” are probably extreme cases and the reason their government hasn’t heeded their cries for control is because the problem isn’t quite as devastating as they’re making it out to be. I would also guess that the gifted documentarian Mark Lewis is aware of this fact, however he just can’t help but indulge them. It’s so much fun.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—Star Trek: The Next Generation, season 4 (1990-1991) ****

TV-PG, 26 45-min. episodes

Creator: Gene Roddenberry

Directors: Cliff Bole, Les Landau, Rob Bowman, Gabrielle Beaumont, Robert Sheerer, Jonathan Frakes, Corey Allen, Chip Chalmers, Robert Wiemer, Tom Benko, Weinrich Kolbe, Robert Legato, Marvin V. Rush, David Livingston, Patrick Stewart

Writers: Gene Roddenberry, Michael Piller, Ronald D. Moore, Susanne Lambdin, Bryan Stewart, Rick Berman, John Whelpley, Jeri Taylor, Ralph Phillips, Lee Sheldon, Joe Menosky, Thomas Perry, Jo Perry, Brannon Braga, Drew Deighan, J. Larry Carroll, David Bennett Carren, Kacey Arnold-Ince, Hilary Bader, Alan J. Adler, Vanessa Greene, Harold Apter, Stewart Charno, Sara Charno, Cy Chermak, Philip LaZebnik, William Douglas Lansford, Bruce D. Arthurs, Dennis Bailey, David Bischoff, Marc Scott Zicree, Maurice Hurley, Thomas Kartozian, Pamela Douglas, Shari Goodhartz, Timothy De Haas, Ira Steven Behr, Randee Russell, Peter Allen Fields, Ted Roberts, Michel Horvat, Rene Echevarria, Ken Schafer

Starring: Patrick Stewart, Jonathan Frakes, LeVar Burton, Michael Dorn, Gates McFadden, Marina Sirtis, Brent Spiner, Wil Wheaton, Majel Barrett (voice)

Guest starring: Elizabeth Dennehy, George Murdock, Colm Meaney, Whoopi Goldberg, Jeremy Kemp, Samantha Eggar, Theodore Bikel, Georgia Brown, Cory Danziger, Adam Ryen, Sherman Howard, Chad Allen, Barbara Townsend, Eric Menyuk, Bill Erwin, Beth Toussaint, Suzie Plakson, Robert O’Reilly, Patrick Massett, Charles Cooper, Jon Steuer, Andreas Katsulas, Chris Demetral, Carolyn McCormick, Patti Yasutake, Todd Merrill, April Grace, Nick Tate, Kim Hamilton, Mary Kohnert, Kim Braden, Rosalind Chao, Sierra Pecheur, Alan Scarfe, Shelly Desai, Marta DuBois, Paul Lambert, Marcelo Tubert, Pamela Winslow, Rhonda Aldrich, George Coe, Carolyn Seymour, George Hearn, Michael Ensign, Steven Anderson, Sachi Parker, Bebe Neuwirth, Susan Gibney, Lanei Chapman, Jana Marie Hupp, John Vickery, Duke Moosekian, Craig Hurley, Brian Tochi, Maryann Plunkett, Amick Byram, Jim Norton, Kay E. Kuter, Saxon Trainor, Page Leong, Dwight Shultz, Jennifer Hetrick, Clive Revill, John de Lancie, Bruce French, Spencer Garrett, Henry Woronicz, Earl Billings, Jean Simmons, Ann Shea, Majel Barrett, David Ogden Stiers, Michelle Forbes, Terrence E. McNally, Carel Struycken, Barbara Tarbuck, Nicole Orth-Pallavicini, William Newman, Franc Luz, Larry Dobkin, John Feck, Edward Wiley, Michelle Scarabelli, Tony Todd, Barbara March, Gwynyth Walsh, Ben Slack, Nicholas Kepros, J.D. Cullum

Going into it’s fourth season, “Star Trek: The Next Generation” finishes perhaps its most influential storyline of the entire series as we learn of the fate of Captain Picard, who was assimilated into the hive culture of the Borg race under the identity Locutus. The show runners wisely follow that episode up with an epilogue episode to deal with the ramifications of Picard’s capture and rescue.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—Jodorowsky’s Dune (2014) ***

PG-13, 90 min.

Director: Frank Pavich

Featuring: Alejandro Jodorowsky, Michel Seydoux, H.R. Giger, Diane O’Bannon, Jean-Paul Gibon, Nicolas Winding Refn, Brontis Jodorowsky, Gary Kurtz, Chris Foss, Amanda Lear

I always felt that David Lynch was a very strange choice to direct the 1984 sci-fi epic “Dune”, an adaptation of the lauded novel by Frank Herbert. Now, I’ve never read the book, but it would seem that anyone attempting to capitalize on the success of “Star Wars” would place Lynch’s name on the bottom of the list. Well, maybe not the bottom. I would think his name would be placed only above Alejandro Jodorowsky’s.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—Crossbones, season 1 (2014) ***½

TV-14, 9 45-min. episodes

Creators: Neil Cross, James V. Hart, Amanda Welles, Colin Woodard (book “The Republic of Pirates”)

Directors: David Slade, Ciaran Donnelly, Stephen Shill, Dan Attias, Terry McDonough, Deran Sarafian

Writers: Neil Cross, James V. Hart, Amanda Welles, Colin Woodard, Blake Masters, Michael Oates Palmer, Elizabeth Sarnoff, Josh Friedman

Starring: John Malkovich, Richard Coyle, Claire Foy, Yasmine Al Massri, David Hoflin, Chris Perfetti, Tracy Ifeachor, Peter Stebbings, Julian Sands, Ezra Buzzington, Aimee Mullins, Lauren Shaw, Natalie Hoflin, Kevin Ryan, Michael Desante, Henry Hereford, Reema Sampat

“Crossbones” was a surprisingly good summer television experiment by NBC. It’s too bad no one watched it.

OK. So check this. You cast John Malkovich as the infamous Edward Teach, a,k,a, Blackbeard. You set the story in 1715 near Jamaica. Teach has “settled” down in an island colony he built that is designed to be a true democracy. Most of the island’s inhabitants are thieves and pirates, but not all. Many are survivors from the pirate raids on their ships who have chosen to stay on the island as part of this supposedly free society.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—The Dark Knight Rises (2012) ***

PG-13, 165 min.

Director: Christopher Nolan

Writers: Jonathan Nolan, Christopher Nolan, David S. Goyer, Bob Kane (characters)

Starring: Christian Bale, Tom Hardy, Gary Oldman, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Anne Hathaway, Marion Cotillard, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Matthew Modine, Alon Moni Aboutboul, Ben Mendelsohn, Burn Gorman, Nestor Cabronell, Brett Cullen, Reggie Lee, Chris Ellis, Juno Temple, Thomas Lennon, Rob Brown, William Devane, Joey King, Liam Neeson, Cillian Murphy, Hines Ward

I was one of the disappointed when I originally saw the conclusion of Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy, “The Dark Knight Rises”. I know that much of that had to do with the tragic events that occurred in Colorado, which I found out about as soon as I got home from the screening. It was also due to the fact that the movie seemed to meander to me.

Guardians of the Galaxy / ***½ (PG-13)

Peter Quill/Starlord: Chris Pratt

Gamora: Zoe Saldana

Drax the Destroyer: Dave Bautista

Ronan the Accuser: Lee Pace

Yondu Udonta: Michael Rooker

Nebula: Karen Gillan

Korath: Djimon Hounsou

Corpsman Dey: John C. Reilly

Nova Prime: Glenn Close

The Collector: Benicio Del Toro

With the voices of:

Rocket Raccoon: Bradley Cooper

Groot: Vin Diesel

Walt Disney Pictures and Marvel Studios present a film directed by Peter Gunn. Written by Gunn and Nicole Perlman. Based on the comic book by Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning. Running time: 121 min. Rated PG-13 (for intense sequences of sci-fi action and violence, and for some language).

Here’s the genius of the Marvel movie model—it keys into the entertainment memories from childhood of the adults who are now responsible for helping their children to make childhood memories.  The people consuming and writing about movies today are the people who developed their passion for movies consuming the very types of movies and comic books that Marvel’s are based on. They are also using filmmakers who had similar experiences as children.

Penny Thoughts ‘14—Mike Birbiglia: My Girlfriend’s Boyfreind (2013) ****

NR, 75 min.

Director: Seth Barrish

Starring: Mike Birbiglia

Mike Birbiglia’s stand up concert film “My Girldfriend’s Boyfriend” should go down as one of the great stand up films. Along with Richard Pryor’s “Live on the Sunset Strip” and George Carlin’s “Carlin at Carnegie” and even a little bit like Spalding Gray’s “Swimming to Cambodia”, Birbiglia’s comedy concert transcends mere stand up comedy and ventures into performance art and autobiographical enlightenment.